Monday, April 18, 2005

My Bad!

Ever meet one of those guys who whenever you talk to him he's either looking at your tits or the tits of some woman walking by? Yeah, that guy would be me. Man, I just can't help it! I'm so damn hetero! And I love boobies!! I don't see how a man can turn down someone like Vida WhatsHerName or in my case Ms. HourGlass to get at another ding-a-ling! Damn, I mean, you can play with your own, why in the fuck would you want to play with someone else's????

"Come here, honey. Let's rub beards."

Sorry, I digress. So I'm eating lunch with HourGlass and she has on this tight black dress with a lacy top. And the lacy top was PERFECT for the new tits. These pubescent boys went nuts and with good reason. "Damn I wish I was like 30 or 27 or somethin'." was the quote d'jour today.
The phone rings. Its PrettyPussy(Cat).
PrettyPussy(Cat): Hey you. What's going on? You busy?
Me: oh no. Just eating.
PrettyPussy(Cat): Oh. Whatcha eating?
wow....everytime she bends over the desk, her tits grace the top. damn.
Me: Huh? Oh...uh...a chicken **gulp** breast sandwich.
PrettyPussy(Cat): Oh. I'm eating a ham and cheese. I didn't have the money to......
OMG...I wish she would stop stretching! Those tits are just hangin' there; defying gravity and shit! MMMM! oh uh....convo...
Me: What did you say?
PrettyPussy(Cat): I said I should be done later this evening.
Me: Oh, with your brother?
mmmm...if only that top would hike up a tad bit more
PrettyPussy(Cat): With the lawyer. I just told you that.
Me: Oh. My bad. I'm still eating.
**sandwich had BEEN gone**
PrettyPussy(Cat): I see. You know what, I'm gonna let you go. Maybe you'll talk more when you don't have company. **in Spanish** If you were in your office, no one would bother you.
impressive. Everytime she laughs, they jiggle like real tits...
Me: Oh, ok. Entiendo.
PrettyPussy(Cat): Do you? Want me to say it in English so you understand?
Me: Well, sure. I think I got it though.
**she repeats**
PrettyPussy(Cat): Call me when you are by yourself. I want your attention, not HALF of the attention you taking from whoever in there with you.
Me: Well, ok. Can I call you when I get on the highway?
PrettyPussy(Cat): yeah. whatever.
Even through the phone I could see the eye roll. Sorry PrettyPussy(Cat). Maybe one day I'll grow up and be asexual. **hug**


Blonde Ambition said...

LMAO!!!!!!! I was one of those girls who started the training bra thing in 4th grade and damn it the boys were talking to them back then too! Now that I teach 8th grade I swear I have gone full circle. Those hormone packed little"man-wannabes" can never seem to find my face lmao

Anonymous said...

Mmm Hmm! I knew it was something like that going on! You were acting a bit strange. Cabŕon mañoso!

Brother Kojak said...

Ooops. Sorry PrettyPussy(Cat)