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I'm a dicotomy of self. The example of self-irony. I am wise, yet ignorant. Chivalrous yet chauvinistic. Life altering problems don't bother, but grit on me in the streets and we'll have a problem. I would be considered in the "hip" generation by most baby boomers which is somewhat accurate. I am defined by/define the hip hop culture as the culture that embraces individuals, not idioisms or set ideals. I talk A LOT....ergo the existence of my blog.
About Me
- Brother Kojak
- I don't pay the mortgage, my wife pays the mortgage. In fact she pays all the bills while I go out and buy a new car. She still drives her old car that's falling apart.
Blog Archive
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2006
(70)
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January
(18)
- TTTT Time Again
- Dry Dizzat Chronicles: Chapter III
- Dry Dizzat Chronicles: Chapter II
- Dry Dizzat Chronicles: Chapter I
- Weekend Hi-jinks
- NFL In Review: The Houston Texans
- Chocolate Drippings
- Sex Headache
- NFL In Review: St. Louis Rams
- Long Weekends That Suck
- NFL In Review: The Philadelphia Eagles
- That Was Fun, Wasn't It?
- TTTT: New Year's Eve
- Why I'm Bitter
- A Plea to You Monkeys
- Oh Man!!!
- NFL In The Review: The Dallas Cowboys
- Iffin' It Were ME...
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January
(18)
9 comments:
There's this guy in my office. He has a disability where he can't walk correctly. Also, he can't speak properly (it takes forever for any words to come out). Although he is not slow, he is very annoying. You ask him a simple question and he answers with something completely irrelevant for about 15 minutes. Then, he finally answers your question which also takes another 20 minutes because he speaks very slowly. Sometimes we laugh at him and we always run away when he's coming around so we won't be captured by him for an hour or so.
Every time I laugh at him, a little part of my soul dies, I think. I should be ashamed. I really should.
I was in Fed Hill with my wife and son, and there was a clearly retarded guy (shit- can I say "retarded"?) a developmentally-fucked guy totally rocking out in a doorway to a little transistor radio. He was shucking and jiving, and at one point he treated his world to both a drum solo and an air guitar solo simultaneously! I started laughing- not at the dude if you can dig it, but at the whole scene. He was having such a great time- hell, I woulda laughed if it were anyone doing it.
So naturally my wife let me have it, completely not understanding that she had it all wrong. So I replied "if we can't make fun of the handicapped, who can we make fun of?"
Yeah, I probably shouldn't have said that.
There is this blind chic at my job. Its evident that she has just recently lost her sight because she can't use the blind cane for shit.
So when she comes down the hallway you know it without even seeing her. WHACK! click, click, click....WHACK!!
People who are familiar with her know better and either turn back the way they came or stand on the very far side of the hallway. Those who are unsuspecting....Whack! Right in the shin or kneecap. I guess the funniest part is, she's kinda ghetto and one of those loud talkers no matter how close you are to her.
"Ohhhh! I'm sorry!! I ain't mean it. you aight?!?!?"
Funny.
Handy Man on In Living Color... that shit wasn't right, but it sure was funny as hell...
Hell I'm laughing at these comments! Whack..whack..click..click, too funny!
I laugh at everything. Blind people, bad limps, comb overs, cleft lips, Aaron Neville moles, you name it, I've laughed. Don't get me around my brothers because we all laugh at the saddest things. Like we laugh at my uncle who studders. I'm sure I've shaven a whole decade off my life. At least!
Yeah, no one should laugh at Aaron Neville...much.
Drug commecials when they talk about "sexual side effects" crack me up.
I laugh at porn flicks where the woman chokes on the the semen...hilairous.
Anytime anything gets hit by a bus.
Skateboarders, bmx bikers that scale railings and land on their nuts...
Once a friend's daughter was with me in the 'ole WallyWorld. She began dragging one leg, drooling and what I assumed was trying to talk at a very overly loud level.
I played along, saying stupid shit when people came around like "Honey, wipe the drool off your chin" or, "Will you please stop looking retarded? I'm going to take you back to the home!"
Needless to say, I think I'm worse than most of you. I not only laugh at all the things you do, I've acted them out! SO THERE!
I'm taking the express train to HELL, you all are just going in the handbasket!
And here I thought I was gonna be bad...
I laugh at white people who can't dance and are trying so hard. They look like idiots while trying to dance simple things like merengue and I want to tell them to go home and give up because they are pitiful.
I laugh at women who say they can't imagine having sex again because it just means their men are available for me to fuck.
I laugh at guys with small dicks because I feel sorry for them.
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