Thursday, January 12, 2006

That Was Fun, Wasn't It?

My day: So far so good
What I'm Rockin': Goapele, Change It All, (thumbs up)

That was probably the funniest TTTT we've done so far monkeys. Mad props.

Whats odd is that I asked for the most trife thing anybody has done and everyone's answer was sexual. Is sex trife or is it the circumstance by which we engage in the act? Is sex only not scandalous when it involves a soundtrack and a bed of rose pedals? Hmmmm.....

On a gross note, when my son was raking leaves last Sat., he found a dead fat rat in the pile. I told him (from the confines of the kitchen) to scoop the bastard up and put him in the trash. Big mistake.
Today was trash day. Guess what was still in the garbage can? Si.
To those that don't know, I find rats and mice the most disgusting, useless, vile creatures on the face of the earth. I would rather EAT a fucken roach than to put my hands on a rat or mouse, dead or alive.

I've gotten a few emails about me and my pro athelete twin, Danny Fortson. I deduce that I have to step up my game and wear more suits. Fortson definitely doesn't have the belly I do, but I have the same shoulders. I bought this BANGIN' sports jacket from the Men's Warehouse a week or so ago. I'm going to have to rock it a few times and see the results. Of course, all my vanities are posted here so you will know what's up.

Speaking of vanities, let me paint a scenario for you. My school's basketball court. 1/4 of it divided by a 20 ft tall by 50 ft wide net. Behind the net are various workout equipment for boxing. Ok.
The goal today was timed cardio. Since I'm just getting back into it, the gym is good because the space is somewhat restricted. The objective was to run half speed for 1 minute, then walk a minute and a half, and do this for 30 minutes. Ok. So I reluctantly start....damn I'm outta shape as I'm feeling the air hit bronchial cavities that havent been opened up in months. I'm running...
Hit the corner hard. Keep running...walk

I'm running....
Hit the corner hard (finger scrape the net). Keep running....walk

I'm running....
Hit the corner hard (finger scrape the net). Keep running. Wal...

Now....most of y'all are in your 30's. Remember how Tom would be in the hammock getting his chill on and Jerry would fuck him up by spinning the hammock and Tom would slam hit the ground?

Call me Tom then.

Why I hit the corner hard fingers scrape the net and my big ass rolled up IN the damn net and Ka-BLOOW!! I'm flat on my back on the basketball court. Now, keep in mind that I'm about 250 so when I hit the ground, it's heard. The Athlete Director's office was WAY on the other side of the gym and HE (Blackfoot, he NEVER wears shoes)heard it. He come runnin' out "You alright?"
"Dude! I rolled right up into the net! Damn!"
"Yeah, I heard that."

Fuck you, Blackfoot.

4 comments:

~KC~ said...

HA! (ouch!)

derek said...

Anybody whose nickname is black proceeded by a body part is a dirty mofo (unless, of course, they are black by way of melanin endowment)...
That sounds like something I would do...only difference is, women would be watching.

Brother Kojak said...

That's just my nickname for dude. He seems relatively (although you would never catch ME walking everywhere including a locker room barefooted.

Joanne said...

LMAO! You're too funny!