Wednesday, December 08, 2004

WTF's Throughout the Day....

One thing about this blog is that when there is very little going on as far as stories, thecies or reflection, I will do wtf's as in What The SoundsLikeDuckButBeginsWithTheSameLetterAsFart. WTF's are observations of dumbness. Like, ordering a meal from McDonald's and getting a diet coke. WTF type shit is that? Or when you are laying the game on a honey and your boy comes in, interupts the convo, and starts in on a new topic.....WTF is you doing?? (Note the break in grammatical context. An action like that is so appauling that you loose all sentence of sentence and tense structure.)

today's WTF's:

I'm standing in line at the Wendy's in the suburban hood. Bad enough that the sista behind the counter is moving slower than a sloth on smak, but the old dude behind me has like a mild case of Teret's or something. Now, that shit aint funny (per say), but if you got the Teret's type thing where you can't shut the hell up, shouldn't you take ALL your meds? This kat was steady saying "mmmm hmmm...yea." And no matter who was talking, no matter where they were in the room, he had an interject.
(Way across the room) She: Damn, its so hot in here!
He: Mmm hmm....yeah. It hot alright. It's hot..."
And see the shit is amusing because it was Teret-like so you sensitive folks get your draws out of your crack (can't do that if you wearing thongs though, huh?). As a matter of fact, please remind me to drop some of my AuntDizzy stories on y'all just to show that I can give it and dish it. My AuntDizzy is mentally challenged.
But I digress. Here's the WTF part....WHY did I start doing that same shit? From the time I time I was about to leave until the time I pulled back into the school parking lot, I was doing it too. Although mine was along the lines of something like "uh huh...yeah. yeah"
So I say to myself "Self, WTF is you doing? Get your shit together before somebody hears you!"

I leave work and get into my car when I notice the school crossing guard get into her car. Oh yeah, crossing gaurd (@ $6.60 an hour) is rocking a relatively late-model Jag. WTF type shit is that???? Now, there could be a number of reasons for that, but at 1st site, the shit just don't match. It's obvious that she has another job somewhere else, but really! I just don't get it. WAY too complicated to try and figure out.

why in the f(@$ is this chic sitting next to me wearing that hot ass winter coat when its about 73 degrees in here and 60 degrees outside? What, you afraid to take it off because you think somebody gonna steal it? Chile please! One of them damn big ass fake-out ski coats, baby blue, with the stitching all around the torso and arms. Looking like a big ass little girl.
Lab Tech: "Excuse BigAssLittleGirl, this lab is for U of B students only. But Chester Heights Elementary's media center with the smiley-faced sunshines all over the place is still open. You better hurry! They still serving peanut butter and celery for afternoon snack!"

Shit....making ME hot just looking at you. WTF is you doing??

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Mmm see?!? We all have a little Teret's in us. It's just that some of us laugh instead of making weird comments :P