Monday, December 20, 2004

7 Jessicas

Jessica #1: Beautiful in every way. Mind, body, soul and spirit. I tried to put some 'isms on her, but she wasn't having it. As a comforting gesture, she told me "If you weren't married, you could get it." We became friends, but months later she started dating this man and fell in love with him. Now, I try to call her (she was diagnosed with a serious illness) but she never returns my calls. Really worried about her, but I think she just has me in ig.

Jessica #2: Platonic friends initially, and then it got somewhat scandalous. Before I could make a trip to meet her, she found out she was embarazada from her ex boyfriend. My flirts were then taken to the context of being a..and I quote "pig". We talk once every blue moon now.

Jessica #3: Chatted for a minute, but found out she was only 21. When I told her my age, her interest waned as well.

Jessica #4: We used to make each other think and laugh. See above except she was 17.

Jessica #5: Became my major reason for wanting to go to PR. Disappeared off of the face of the earth. No call, no show.

Jessica #6: Met her in Miami by default. She was a friend of a friend who happened to be hanging with us that night. She and I hit the dance floor. Man, as a Marylander I don't come across many Cuban women. So to see a fair-skinned woman with a figure like a sista and can move like Jessica #6 threw it on me GOOD for like a good hour. Things were looking OUTSTANDING until towards the end of the night when she says "Hey, my buddies are coming thru. Y'all hanging?" I said "Oh fo' sure!" Then I get a tap on the shoulder from Darkness "They all dudes. We need to roll. And roll we did.

Jessica #7: Just met this one. Results pending.

This just in!!! Results from Jessica #7 emails are in! Here is an abridged version of how the Jessica Effect effected Brother Kojak:

(paraphrased) #7: I'm sure we can stay in contact as long as we don't spend too much time talking to each other! LOL! Honestly, if it wasn't for your hilarious journal writing ability, I'd have stopped talking to you once I found out you were a cheater without a cause. LOL! (Just being honest!)
It's all about surrounding myself with good and positive character types. I don't associate myself with cheaters, liars, criminals, ignorant people, and/or atheists. I don't see anything wrong with you?

I guess we liars, cheaters, and criminals have to stick together. I found this great convention coming up this summer that I'm SURE I need to attend.

Coming June 21, 2005
The Liar's, Cheaters, Criminals Convention (LCC)
The Washington, D.C. Convention Center (The LCC capital of the world!)
Come join us for seminars, free food and drink, and free MONEY!!!
Special Keynote Speakers: Former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey, Former DC Mayor Marion Barry, football coah George O'Leary, and special guest speaker President Bill Clinton!
Seminars include:
Don't Let the Bitch Set You Up- M. Barry
How to Keep It On The Down-Low- J. McGreevey
Yeah....I Gots Me a Master's- G. O'Leary
Speech Writing Symantics- B. Clinton
(disclaimer: some and maybe all of the above listed may or may not be false as this is a Liars, Cheaters and Criminals Convention. Participate at your own risk and discretion)


Blonde Ambition said...

And just how does one get to the DC Convention Center? I do believe I need to catch this one...I might fit right in! lmao

WebmasterMama said...

oh - everyone fits into this category at some point in their life. That Jessica #6 is just self-righteous. Anyone who says "I'd never cheat" is stupid. They don't know 'till they are in a situation that they find incredibly depressing and don't know another way out. Drop her like a bad habit immediately. She's not worth your time because there is far more to you than your past.

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