Sunday, January 30, 2005

Introducing Weepa!

Weepa! is a friend I met 4 years ago on a community website. Stereotypes are a bad thing, but she is without question a stereotypical Nuyorican. She's never been to Puerto Rico, but she has the accent and mannerisms of a boricua who just stepped foot into the JFK concourse from JetBlue's 1273 Flight from San Juan. At the same time, she has the toughness and swagger of a Brooklyn woman born and bred. She is also a strong, loving, and encouraging woman particularly to the ones she holds dear to her heart. Since she is not particularly fond of my birth name, I am affectionately known to her as Ric (Reek). I hadn't talked to her in a while so I called her yesterday. Here is the convo. Feel free to use your Puerto Rican accent freely.

Ric: What's up Boo?? How you been? I haven't talked to you in a minute.

Weepa!: What's up Ric. I been with the ONLY headache all week.

Ric: Oh Boo, I'm sorry to hear that.

Weepa!: Yeah, I'm going to the doctors on Friday. I just haven't felt like being bothered, Ric. Between this fucken headache and this nigga behind me, I just don't feel like being bothered.

Ric: Oh? Who is this?

Weepa!: This nigga I met on (community site). Ric, when I first met him he was cool. Then I gave him my number and he been like bubblegum ever since, shit. He a friend of Lily's and when he around me and her, he don't say shit. But when we chatting or on the phone, he like a little puppy.

Ric: Hehehehe...oh yeah? Where he live?

Weepa!: He lives on the same block, Ric!

Ric: (laughing) What? That's crazy.

Weepa!: Yeah, and this nigga is a trip!

Ric: Sounds like it.

Weepa!: This nigga is a trip. You know me and ShyShy (alias for her daughter) went up to his apartment one day.

Ric: Oh yeah?

Weepa!: Yeah. Ric...we go into his apartment...all Batman.

Ric: (giggling) What?

Weepa!: Yeah man. Front wall, Batman. Back wall, Batman. Side wall, Batman. He got Batman-mobile, Batman plane, Batman whateva. I looked around and said to myself "Que te pasa papito? You a child stuck in a man!"

Ric: (laughing for real now) You lying like shit. For real?

Weepa!: For real, Ric I'm serious! (laugh) The mutha fucka got everything Batman, X-Man, Spawn. He showed me his bedroom. Spawn. Spawn EVERY fucken where! I said oh shit are you for real?? This place is off the hook!

Ric: (crying laughing) Awww! Now I know you lying Boo.

Weepa!: No Ric, I'm serious! Spawn all over the place in his bedroom. I told him "what do you tell your girlfriend? You got a Catgirl suit for her?"

(we both laugh)
Weepa!: This nigga is off the hook. I can't fuck with no shit like that. What do I look like going with some man with X-Manz, Batmanz, and Spawnz all over the place? Shit! Fuuuuuck dat! No thank you! ShyShy was like"Ma. Can we get outta here? This place is close on me."

Ric: (still crying laughing) Oh man! Poor baby. This kat is stuck on 6th grade!

Weepa!: Oh hold on Ric. That was AFTER we came from Toy R Us.

Ric: Oh yeah? Why y'all go there?

Weepa!: I asked him to take me and ShyShy to Toys R Us to get some DVD Now's for her. When we got there, I was looking at the rack for stuff for ShyShy. When I looked over, the whole rack, Ric....the whole rack of Batman shit was gone.

Ric: Huh? What happened?

Weepa!: The mutha fucka put all that shit into the cart! All Batman shit!

Ric: (laughing) Oh shit!

Weepa!: Yeah Ric. That shit came to $99. $99 of Batman shit. I was like what the fuck?

Ric: Oh wow. He sound like he got some issues.

Weepa!: Oh Yeah! (laughing) But that's not all Ric. I told you he been like bubblegum. He been sending me poems and songs and shit.

Ric: Get the fuck outta here, girl.

Weepa!: Yeah Ric.

Next blog entry: Juan writes the songs that makes the whole world sing.......


Anonymous said...

I could so hear the accent in my head.

chaparritadeoro said...

Oh Reek...that is too fanny! I found myself doing the accent too.