Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Black Men vs. White Men

Congratulate me.....I've gotten over a 1000 hits. Meaning? Not a damn thing; just that I check the counter on this site WAY too much.

Please pardon my grammatical and spelling errors as I don't have a whole lot of time to to blog to percision. TG...how you doin', giiirl?

Let's see. Let me see if I can summarize what's gone on since I've last blogged. Friday I got my first real check even though its chicken feed. Hey, it was better than the used chicken feed I was getting before.

KeyLo-Lo Outfit of the Day for Monday: low cut white blouse, tan jacket. (A real jacket, not one for being subtle) Long (hey! past the knees and er'thing!), matching skirt. Tight around the ass **smile** Now, even though the dress code was sent out in the email to teachers and staff, she is STILL KeyLo-Lo so she had to have SOMETHING off the chain. How about white, high heel stilletto boots?

I was supposed to be studying this weekend but I ain't study shit. Went out on Friday And Sat. Friday I was out with...let's call her The Castelian. Went to eat and laugh. It was fun. I don't know whether its the accent or the mannerisms, but every other sentence she has me laughing. Sat., me and the Glueman went out. First we went to a restaurant/lounge where the drinks put us on our asses. We ordered chicken wings just to sober up. They had a live band as well. Decent band but I wasnt feeling the lead singer. She was cool until she sang Jill Scott's "Is This The Way". First of all, you can't sing that song w/o background singers of which she had not. Secondly (and my sistas out there will understand this), its not a sound to song to be "sanged" i.e. a song that u can sing with improv and extra skills. She tried all of this, and neither Glueman or myself were feeling it. We decided to leave to go to our favorite strip club instead. We get down there, struggled to find a parking space (yes, there is a night life in B-more. Who knew?), and started walked. Before we got to our street, Glueman stopped and said "Hey, let's check out this Hustler spot. I want to see what its like in there." "Alright." I replied.
So we go in there. Come to find out that there is a cover of $15 a head for the place. Now, I'm not used to paying a cover, but Glueman has been to spots where you had to pay to get in that were off the chain. So as I stepped back, he stepped forward. "Don't worry, I got this." he said and proceed to pay for my cover. Cool.
We step in, and its a beautiful spot. lofts that are lit around the base, black lacquer bars, and red and black chairs with wheels on them so that you can slide your ass all over the place. They also had an emcee. "Uh oh.." I thought. "This is a white boy spot..."
Why do I say that? Because all of the strip clubs I've ever been to that had an emcee were always prodominantly white patrons and strippers. Nothing wrong with that except that the strippers are usually too bony for my tastes and the sistas or other minorities that strip there usually have that same physique. Not THAT....hurts your feelings.
Sure enough, narr'a ass chics. No seductive poses or booty shaking. As a matter of fact, the deal was for guys to pick out a girl they like for a lap dance. The stage dance was lame as hell; girls were just twirling around the pole looking up at the ceiling, at the floor. The best part was them climbing up these 20 ft poles and sliding upside down and stopping mid-pole. Yippee. Our comments?
"Man, that bitch been up there 10 minutes and STILL got clothes on!"
"What the fuck is she looking at up there?"
"Her ass looks like a long ass back."
"This is some straight garbage, sun."

So, $30 broke-er, We left. That was the first time either of us had ever left a club without giving up the loot. " Man, that was some ol' bullshit!" He yelled on the way out. "Let's go to the real joint."
We went into the coverless, preppy white guy-less strip club. At this club, if you came in with a flat ass the only good you are to the spot is to mop and vacuum the floors and THAT is only when the place is closed! I spent about $20 and so did Glueman.

So why is it that I can go into a damn near dive, slip pass a soon to be fight, and have a good time? Becauuuuse I can go to a brotha strip club, sit at the bar; hear 50 Cent instead of Motley Crue's old ass; have a phat caramel delight rascal (PCDR) bend over, shake her ass about a foot in front of me and smack it to persuade me to insert my tithe and offering. I can be in here in the middle of a luke warm beer and get a tap on the shoulder from a PCDR or maybe even a phat laitte rascal (PLR) asking me if I want to buy her a drink; code word for timed lap dance. I'm such a sucker for those! Now, why white guys can't go for that I don't know. They would rather have a woman shaped like their pubicent little brother leading them around by the hand for a lap dance that includes her calling his name out as if he were getting boned. Chile please.

Ok...I've lost my flow because I was writing this at 2 this afternoon and it is now 11:20. Sorry.

Oh! Here's what I forgot:
Dumbest comment of the day: I was at the Ross
buying a shirt when this old lady came up to the
counter. The man working the counter said "Ma'am,
there is a line over there for your purchases. And
she said "But I'm not buying anything. Do I have to
stand in line of I'm not buying anything?" The man
said "Uh....no." But I'm sure he wanted to say
"then what the fuck you standing here for????" It
was too funny.


Blonde Ambition said...

Thanks for giving us thick ladies the compliments.....there ARE thick white ladies you know? They just don't usually work in the strip clubs because WHITE men don't appreciate a thick woman as much. Which is definitely THEIR loss hehe


chaparritadeoro said...

You better have some talents if you're going to cover a JIll Scott song! One time I went to a jazz place called Sullivans in Austin Tx. The girl that was singing tried to cover a J. Jackson song. Her version was ALL BANGED UP! :P It ruined the moment. We ended up leaving too.

WebmasterMama said...

This is why I'm so over white guys. Well, at least most of them. Some of them are special and like meat, but, having grown up with nothing but white men, I remember feeling like I was fat at 120 lbs in high school. One more reason I'm thankful I met my boricua hubby!