Friday, February 11, 2005

dey fightn', dey fightn' !!

Yup. It was inevitable. 1st fight of the year. The one with the most mouth got his ass kicked. The funny part (if there is one) is that I ran to break it up and one of the teachers was in the midst of it and he had a hold of one of kids' waist instead of his arms. I pulled the teacher off and grabbed the kid. After the dust settled and I was walking down the hallway, one of the kids said "man, why you truck me## ? Slammed me all up against the wall. Man, I'm suing!" I apologized to him profusely.

I went to orientation yesterday. Man, that shit is depressing! Not only does the pay suck, but come to find out that I only get ONE personal day and 4.5 sick days for the year. Oh wait, it gets better. Not only that, but I can't use the personal DAY until I'm off probabtion. How long is probation? Not one month, not 3, not even 6.....
A fucken year.


Oh well. We'll make sure this is temporary. So if any of you know of someone in the B-more area looking for a jack-of-all-trades techie, let me know.
Other notes:

This is primarily for Zulu; and Jenn, I think you may have read this too. Watch what you blog!

Darkness will from now on be referred to as Glueman. I totally forgot about his fascination and skill in dealing with adhesives. Anything that breaks and can't be nailed or screwed together, call the Glueman. 2 stories about that:

I had been spending all of my unemployment checks routinely on earpieces for my cell phone. When I finally find one that works and is comfortable, my clumsy ass steps on it and breaks it. "Hmm. How can I fix this?" No clue. "Who can fix this for me?" **LIGHT BULB!!** The cousin.
Glueman: Wassup yo?
Me: Hey man, can you fix my earpiece for me?
Gluema: Fix it? What's wrong with it?
Me: The part that goes in your ear broke. And since you the Glueman, I figured you'd fix it.
Glueman: **laughing** Oh, Glueman, huh?
Me: Yeah man. Everytime something need pastin', you always got the right kind of pastes and thangs. You nice## with yours!
**both laughing**
Glueman: Alright, bring it thru. I see what I can do.

Worked like a charm until it finally died. The Glueman is nice!

Second story:
My son and I were spending the weekend over Glueman's house. He seemed restless. When the sun went down, he goes "Ride with me".
We get into the car and I ask where we were going. "I need to fix my son's car headlight. I gotta go to the store to get some of my elixirs."
Me: elixirs? What do you mean? A little some-some to drink?
Glueman: No man. My glues! My apoxies!
Me: OH!! **laughing** Elixirs, huh? Very good.
So we get to the auto store and walked around the various aisles...light bulbs, car freshener, windshield wipers...ah! "Here it is. All the gl..."
"Shhhhhh!! I'm concentrating on my formulas." he said while rubbing his chin.
"Hmm...." He started. "If I get this one here, I'll have to combine it with this other apoxy that got extra binding agents. **me snickering** With this other one, I'll have to reinforce it with some tape. What you think?"
"Well, if you...."
"Nevermind. I got this."
So we proceeded to the checkout, and sure enough, 12 hours later, the headlight was good as new. (Uh...except for the small strip of tape in the corner.)
Like I said, Glueman is NICE!



###truck: to run over, rudely push out of the way.
###nice: smoother than smooth, adept in the context of the sentence.

5 comments:

chaparritadeoro said...

Reminds me of my Dad. He was a firm believer in Super Glue. Remember the commercials that were too good to be true? The one where the construction guy would hang off a steel beam cause his hard hat was glued to the beam? As far fetched as that was, Dad had so much faith in that glue. He used the it to fix coffee mugs and bowls and whatever else needed to be "fixed". He had his little stash. And we all got the lecture about our fingers being glued together if we played with it. Well that put the fear in us! We didn't dare touch the shit! Oh no, no, no, no.......

~KC~ said...

So how much do you rent him out for? I NEVER seem to be able to fix anything. I just throw things away and buy new ones when they break. I could really use a Glueman around for emergencies!!

Anonymous said...

ONE personal day? They're crazy. Get out while you can. We'd love to have you up here in Jersey. ;) -- TJ / http://twisty.typepad.com

Anonymous said...

mmm hmmmm...

Anonymous said...

mmm hmmmm...