Thursday, July 06, 2006

I Hate Everybody

I have this song in my head called "Lay It Down" by Dwele. Stuck. The worst part is, all I know is the hook. I do know any of the verses. Oh well.

Mad drama over here. I don't want to discuss it because most of you come here to get your laugh or "hmmm...that's interesting" on. So we are gonna keep it light.

Isn't it amusing when you know a man who as just as nosey as a woman? Noseyness gossiping are things usually associated with women (except for Lou Ferrigno in The King of Queens), but every now and then, you get a guy who just can't help himself. My boss hurt his ribs on the 4th. He called in and said he had a rib injury and left it at that. When he came into work today, my one co-worker was all in his business: "What happened?" "Did you go to the hospital?" "Did your wife notice?" "What medication are you on?" And you could tell by talking to him that he didn't want to answer a whole lot of questions because most of the answers were yes or no. I asked dude "why you interrogating the man, Walter Cronkite?" His reply was "I'm just curious." Curious is Standard American-English proper for nosey. Y'all ain't know that, did you?

Ever been jealous of someone you don't even know? I have a friend who has a crazy wild sex life, and periodically she does the 3some with this couple. How lucky is THIS mu fucka? A sista AND a latina at the same time??? Playing with my emotions. Some kats just have it made like that; me, I do my majic with internet pics and some dollar store lotion. I hate everybody.

Weekend should different. My cousin GayPower is having a cookout. From the looks of it, I will be the only straight one there. Again, I hate everybody.

Just got a call from this real estate agent. She wants us to meet this weekend to discuss business in her state. Now, its not likely that I'll buy there, but one part of me says not to rule out all my options. Now, the dizzat waggin' caveman in me says "Hmmm....rumor on the street is that this chica is HOT. You should go just to see what she looks like." Trife livin' on my part. I'll just have to play it by ear and see what I do. Hard to resist a sexy Panamanian. I feel myself oozing out of the chair when she talks. Mmmmmm....

My ShouldBe wife will be in town in a couple of weeks to perform. OMG....I don't know if I can handle it. That voice, the way she throws her hair bag when she hits a long soulful note. Szszszszszs! I think remain seated the whole time and I'll wear 2 pair of underwear just in case I loose it.


HEy! I'm blogged out and shit! Only thing I can think about is Philly, boobs, Panamanian peas and rice, and chocolate martinis. Why...I don't know. Well, I know, and somebody out there knows...and on that, I'm peace the fuck out.

6 comments:

Desiree said...

You're crazy. That's all. =)

r. said...

damn, where the hell you been... we want to hear about the low's too... that's why we care so much (heart).

buy property is the carolina's - its super super super cheap...

Don't mess wit' no ethnics that end in an "ian". I promise. That leaves you with Irish, Swedish, Dutch, and German. You can handle that.

Brother Kojak said...

Dez- You love me; you just don't want to admit it. :P

r- Carolina's ain't gonna happen. When I went down there a few years ago I was overwhelmingly unimpressed. Things may have changed by since then, but the Carolinas? Me? Naw.

On the -ian issue, I am really surprised by YOU of all people saying that because we know how you do. For the longest time, I though that's all you did.
And as far as your "new" ethnicities of choice, no offense, but I'm not convinced that I don't like my milk flavored.

r. said...

I'm just sayin' - those Ian's will get ya, man... The little one that I'm currently cookin' is half an Ian...

Brother Kojak said...

and????

Blonde Ambition said...

You just haven't had enough unflavored milk ;) lol