Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Bricks For Brains

Thanks for all the great posts as usual on TTTT. Extremely entertaining although I wansn't really feeling the person attacks. You monkeys know who you are. **smile**

I don't know if I posted about this before but there is this security guard at work who is crazy dumb. I once spent 20 minutes of my valuable time trying to figure out make-money-fast certs, degrees for a woman who doesn't even know what she wants to do.

Today I saw DumDumStick on her way to work from the parking lot. She had her lunch with her, but uhhhhh...she had lunch in a ziplock bag. Not even in a paper bag or a plastic bag. Even more so than that, you know what DumDumStick had in her ziplock bag? A frozen Murray Steak House hamburger patty and some frozen french fries.


No bun
no catsup
no lettuce and tomato

just hamburger and fries consolidated in a big ass ziplock bag. Too bad, so sad.

Other "news" of the day, my co-worker G-Money has really got me stuck on old school Hip Hop because he and I talk to each other in Old Schoolese.

Me: What up G-Money? You jammin' on the one?
G-Money: No doubt. I got 6 CO's and 5 more to go
Me: Damn Son! Murder was the case that they gave you?
G-Money: 187 on an undercover cop.

That's just how we do. Its funny because well pass each other's cubes or will be at a client's desk and say
"I'm going back to Cali..."
"I don't think so."

I guess you have to be there. I ate lunch with Wisdom (my best friend from elementary school) today. We went to Legal Seafoods. If you ever go there I strongly recommend the soups over the entrees. He had the MD crab, I had the gumbo; both were BOMB DIGGITY...damn. See? I'm still doing it!
He and I caught up and talked about family and jobs. He and I seem to coincidentally make jobs moves simultaneaously. If the trend holds true, I'll be at my job no longer than 6 months. We shall see.
Oh yeah. Today I had a queer moment. When I first sat down with Wisdom, these 2 men were leaving the restaurant. The first man out the door struck me as odd. I didnt realize why at consciously, but subconsciously it was because his suit was really baggy. Not a big deal, but odd for a white man. So subsconsciously, I gave him the quick scan and E-gad!(that's the new way of spelling it) Dude's dizzat was almost down to his knee!! WTF?? I could not BELIEVE that shit. I would have stood up and given him a standing ovation, but he walked out too fast. Must be nice! if I was packing like that, I would linin' 'em up swinging it like a night stick.

That's all I got man! I'm out.


Reese The Law Girl said...

Me: What up G-Money? You jammin' on the one?
G-Money: No doubt. I got 6 CO's and 5 more to go
Me: Damn Son! Murder was the case that they gave you?
G-Money: 187 on an undercover cop.


That was too funny.

Anyway"S", why do guys think that girls want a guy with a freakishly large package? I remember there was a Sex and the City episode about that. Sometimes too large, is just that. No woman wants to be ripped into two. Geez.

Brother Kojak said...

"S"??? What's that is?

A large dizzat is good at least for bragging right, Reese. you can take pics, make greeting cards, and send them to your friends year round for good cheer.

Boriqua in TX said...

I agree with Reese, why do you assume we want to have a big packaged shoved to our stomachs. Just as long as you have something to work with and KNOW how to work it that is all that matters. =))

Ya tu sabes!

derek said...

Greeting cards...LOL!

I agree with Reese. Most women that I know value package proficiency over package size. That, or they were pulling my chain because I have a small wee-wee (I am firmly in average dizzat land).

A freakishly big package is like the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame...people like to say they went there once. (I am from Cleveland, it is the kind of place you go once, maybe twice.) Having proficiency with an average package is like good home never get tired of good home cooking. Whether your idea of good home cooking is empanadas, pad thai or fried chicken...there's no place like home :-).

Reese The Law Girl said...

I highlighted the "s" in "anyways" because someone in TTTT said they hate when people say "anyways."

I say "anyways" all the time, so I just thought I would be cute and annoying and highlight my "s."

Yes, I was being a dork on purpose. ;)

WebmasterMama said...

You watch too many pornos. Too big is a pain, literally, and I don't want to deal with it. Give me average anyday and those big dudes and go around bragging wondering why they ain't getting any.

Brother Kojak said...

Derek: you are scaring me with your comments. Either you are very in tuned to your female friends, or you are using a jar too many of Vaseline.

But I have faith in you. I can't imagine you doing the Brokeback.

chaparritadeoro said...

Almost down to the knee! Aww hell no! That's just too big. Forget bragging rights, you would be more like a freak show at the local circus. BK you should feel bad for the guy cause I'm willing to bet the womens run from him.

derek said...

Nahhh, no brokeback or DL for this brother...but I do think Michelle Williams is cute.

I try to have an open candor with my female friends. I try to give them some insight to what I think, as a man (I can't speak for all men) and I pick their brains about women.

Actually, I am taking applications for Ms. Right...any LADIES interested?

Blonde Ambition said...

Derek is right.....I will take proficiency over package size any day....and hey, if the proficiency still isn't up to par, there ARE other body parts you know? lol ;)

Brother Kojak said...

derek: I got hook up for Pimp Juice. 2 liter bottle for $15.95. They come in a bunch of different flavors too: Orgasmic O-range, Get Her in the Buck Blue, or Humpin' All Night Hawaiian Punch.