Saturday, November 12, 2005

Topic 13: Indecent Proposals

This is the 3rd damn time I've tried to do this entry. Thats another reason why I havent posted in so long. UGH! So, to continue my bad blogger habits, I'm going to abbreviate what I was writing.

Way back when, I asked a woman what her fantasy was. She told me it was a 3some with 2 men. My response was "Wow. Can you handle that?"
"Sure," she said. "But they have to be there for me. I'm
the one that is supposed to be having the fantasy."
"So you are just gonna be there while they are all over your?" I asked.
"Basically" she replied.
"Yeah. So....?" she asked.
"So what?"
"Huh? Me? No siiiir. Me no sword fight. We don't do THAT!"
"Nobody asked you to 'sword fight' as you call it. You just be there for me and please me while he pleases me."
" No siiiiir. What if his thing touch me?"
"Oh, stop being retarded. And what if it does? That's not going to make you instantly gay!"
"I don't know. It might do! No thanks. You are lovely, but uh....naw man."

A few weeks later...

ME: I was like wtf??? This girl was on some ol' different shit.

TheFreakWhoYouWouldntKnowOnTheStreets: Hmmm. What did YOU say?

ME: I told her I don't get down like that. But the main turn-off was that she wasn't going to do much besides lay there.

TheFreakWhoYouWouldntKnowOnTheStreets: So what if you had a woman who would be off the chain with hers?

ME: In a 3some?

TheFreakWhoYouWouldntKnowOnTheStreets: Yeah.

ME: Hmmm...I don't know. If she could "Bring the Noise, Bring The Funk", sure. Maybe. I think I would have to be highly intoxicated though.

TheFreakWhoYouWouldntKnowOnTheStreets: Hehehehe. So what do you drink?

ME: Huh?

TheFreakWhoYouWouldntKnowOnTheStreets: What do you drink? I mean, if we are hanging in the streets, AND you get a little tipsy, AND something jumps off, well, might as well call a friend, right?

ME: Sonya!!!! You get down like that too?!?!??!

TheFreakWhoYouWouldntKnowOnTheStreets: Not like everyday, know. Every now and then you gotta shake the pot. If we kickin' it, why NOT call my man for a little twist on the fun?

ME: **mouth gaping**

TheFreakWhoYouWouldntKnowOnTheStreets: I mean, she obviously knows something I don't, and I'm curious to know what she knows.

ME: **mouth still gaping**

TheFreakWhoYouWouldntKnowOnTheStreets: And if she DOESN'T know, I'd like to beat her to the punch. You down?

ME: **mouth STILL gaping**

TheFreakWhoYouWouldntKnowOnTheStreets: Say something! You know what, forget it. You are stuck on some dumb shit like you a choir boy or something. BTW, close your mouth. I just saw a couple of flys buzzing around.

ME: **took me about 20 minutes to close my mouth**


Bowman said...

Funny as shit dude! You don't like to play butt-pirates?

Brother Kojak said... We don't do that.

Reese The Law Girl said...



But, seriously, ewwww. That's a bit nasty. Ewwwww...

Blonde Ambition said...

lmao....butt pirates???? lmao omg I am rollin....seriously...come on Brother K.....I have a friend who would ...wanna join us? lmao

Brother Kojak said...

no siiiiiir! Can't get into all that. I like holes, not poles