Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Another Reason I Ain't Shit #3

This happened about 3 weeks ago and in my hiatus, I forgot to blog or mention it

So I get this call from an unknown number on the cell (I hate that) and its the Offspring's buddy's mother. She was inviting him over for a sleepover for her son's b-day. I said sure, but then it hit me....slam in the face..."self, this is the SMOKIN' hot mom from last year. The one who kept catching you staring at her. Yeah, her." So, as a barely responsible parent, I'm analyzing how I can drop this kid off, be cordial, and get the hell outta there. **snapping fingers** I got it!! I will take the Mother of Offspring. That way, if I stare too much, the ramifications are a week's worth of dirty looks.

The kid gets all of his stuff together for the outing, and NumberOneStunna's direction's get me all hemmed up. She picks up the cell and says "I'll meet you outside." Great.
I swing a u-turn and nearly crash cause DAYYYYY-UM! she's outside in workout gear. Oh no, NOT the frumpy shit you see the busted ass mothers in the PTA and bake sales, but the Under Amour joints. holy cow. Ok fellas, let me describe this chic to you....take Vanessa Williams in her late 20's or early 30's, give her a sexy smile with a slight gap (I don't have a celebrity comparison), and the body of Jennifer Love Hewitt. Ta-dow. The top was tight and pink, with short silver bottoms that had the same pink colored stripe. I felt my left eye twitch while my mouth had a slight watering around the edges. "You gotta stop trippin'. Implement Phase II" I thought. Phase II was for BK to be a jackass; talking loud and obnoxious. I must have helped because she just gave me a weird look, a laugh and a shaking of the head. Mother of Offspring wasn't much help; she said hey and never even got out of the car. So to summarize, I get out of the car talkin' dumb shit, literally grab the kid and throw him at her, scoop up all his shit and put it in her arms, and then ball the hell outta there.
The next day I went to pick up the kid, and when NumberOneStunna answered the door, a total transformation. The hair was typed up in a rag and the workout clothes were now sweat pants and a tee. She still was bangin' though. Hmmm.....I wonder if she saw me drooling and twitching the day before?


Reese The Law Girl said...

Is it just me, or are men completely helpless? Look at you losing your game and getting all caught up in "hot mom."

[Reese shakes head]

Men are so easy. ;p~~

derek said...

You have to love hot moms. It's even worse now that I have kids :-).

Women without kids are sexy too but there's something about a sexy mom...rrrarrr.

Brother Kojak said...

Reese: Look, you've done it see a fine ass man. And at the end of his hand is a cute little kid. Does parenting kill someone's sexiness? I mean, there are a lot of hot moms and dads out there. Be for real. And besides, THIS WAS NO ORDINARY MOM. Believe that!

Derek: Man, I didn't know you had chil'ren. And I KNOW you know what I'm talking about. Dropping the kids off at the sitter's house and she have a phat-to-death cousin or girlfriend answer the phone. Wooo-weeeeeee!