Sunday, November 26, 2006

Tom Was Little This Year (And Other Useless Internet Banter)

I hope you all had a wonderful, productive, festive, fulfilling Thanksgiving. (Actually, I could give a fuck, but I figured I'd say something. How was mine? Why...thank you for asking! **rolling eyes** Mine was fun, I would give you the full blast blog entry for it, but come to find out from my gallop poll that it REALLY wasn't THAT funny or at least won't translate to text very well. The synopsis:
  1. AreYouGay? Really is gay, but still considers that normal.
  2. It is inappropriate to make fun of the dead and disabled, but damn its funny.
  3. Kids joke books still suck. I suppose if you are an author of such material your comedic career has hit rock bottom. (Coming to the children's section of a Black bookstore near you...."Knock Knock...It's Kramer!!!" by Michael Roberts)
  4. The family has a new Thanksgiving tradition of re-enacting Thanksgiving dinners from the movies. This year's feature: The Color Purple. "I looked up and saw you, and I knowed dey is a God."
  5. I HATE those broadcast text messages sent from someone's phone. One damn near ruined my Thanksgiving.

Hmmm....Today is Tuesday. Back in the day, this would have been a prime opportunity to do Tell The Truth Tuesday. Given that no one cares any more, fuck it. And that would have been the theme too. Your Thanksgiving....beautiful or dutiful? Reply if you want, who cares...

Did you know that Jay Z has about 4 different Greatest Hits albums? How can that be? Isn't there an industry standard on the number of Greatest Hits you can have? Oh...wait. no there isn't. I think between Jimi Hendrix and The Eagles that shit is out the window. Here is the songlist from Jay Z's most recent greatest hits joint:

1.Can I Get A / Jay-Z

This is a perfect song to start off this list because I can't stand any of the pop songs by Jay Z. This one is no different.

2.Hard Knock Life / Jay-Z

This is the worst one of all. Sucks more than a ho in Singapore.

3.Wishing On A Star / Jay-Z

Don't know this one or it sucks so bad I blocked it out.

4.Can't Knock The Hustle (FT Mary J. Blige) / Jay-Z

Ehhh! Its aight.

5.Ain't No Nigga (FT Foxy Brown) / Jay-Z

This was Jay Z's first aired song. When I heard this I said "Hmmm. Now there's a one hit wonder if I ever saw one." Fancy that.

6.Ride Or Die / Jay-Z

Not sure if I know this one or not. If its the one produced by Timbalan then its ok at best.

7.Brooklyn's Finest (FT Notorious Big) / Jay-Z

Anything with Biggie is tight. Recognize.

8.Imaginary Player / Jay-Z

Don't know this one.

9.Friend Or Foe / Jay-Z

Don't know this one either.

10.Friend Or Foe 98 / Jay-Z

Don't know this one either either.

11.More Money More Cash More Hoes / Jay-Z

cheeseball to the max.

12.City Is Mine (FT Blackstreet) / Jay-Z

Pop goes the weasel.

13.Reservoir Dogs (FT Blackstreet) / Jay-Z

Pop goes the weasel part dos.

14.I Know What Girls Like (FT Puff Daddy & Lil' Kim) / Jay-Z

You're kidding, right? Puff is an album killer.

15.22 Twos / Jay-Z

This is one of those playa for life songs. Please.

16.Money Ain't A Thang (FT Jermaine Dupri) / Jay-Z

Ok, now this is more like it. It's another play for life song, but at least the hook is catchy.

[Jay Z]

Bubble hard in the double R flashin the rings

With the window cracked holler back

Money ain't a thang

[Jermaine Dupri]

Jigga I don't like it if it don't gleam clean

And to hell with the price cause the money ain't a thang

17.Dead Presidents II / Jay-Z

Name sounds familiar, not sure that I know this one.

18.Regrets / Jay-Z

Definitely don't know this one

So it seems as if I'm either not a big Jay Z fan or I'm just an old cruddy and don't know nothing. They don't have any of the songs I like like "Bring It On", "You Don't Know" , "Jigga What". I guess I'll just wait for the box set.

I know its late, but the phrase of the day/Wednesday is "Phat in the tail. " In use: “I don’t know how that girl can get in a size 8 jeans. She gotta be at least a size 10 since she so phat in the tail”.

Know it, use it, good bye!

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