In the last post I scared the crap outta a little kid at the airport. Today I scared a white man. Now, I'm used to scaring white women; they have a weird reaction when they see me. Either they walk on the far side of the sidewalk or the other side of the street, or they clutch their purses on elevator. Fact of life. Been like that since I was about 19.
But scaring white men is different. I say that because we as men (most of us at least) are taught that it is weak to show fear to or of another man. Period. Regardless of size, age, whatever. So when another man gets edgy around me, instinctively I exploit it. Not just because I'm an asshole, but because he should know better than to cower in front of me even though I am no where near you nor have I said a word to you. I decided not to exploit it this morning because it was so pitiful. Here's what happened:
I had to drop off a book that was WAY over due. I pull into the back of the library which is where the drop off slot is. I'm not the only one there. A man in his early 50's, late 40's is in his car about to get out to drop off a book as well. As soon as he looks in his rearview mirror and sees me, his door begins to close back and he coincidentally gets a phone call. I proceed to the drop box and drop off my book. When I get back into my car, then he gets out and gives me a fake or "thanks for not beating the shit outta me and taking my car" smile and does his thing. Now the fear was obvious, but 2 things come into question: 1) what the fuck was the cell phone about? Was he gearing to call the popo just in case I did step to him 2.) what thug goes to the library to jump somebody? "Yeah, son. Imma head over to the library and jack somebody's ass. The library son...that's what's poppin'". How that sound? Gimmie a break.
Damn that was long-winded AGAIN! Sorry, Mama.
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5 comments:
That's so, so lame. Racism is some horrible crap. I'm a white girl, who taught ESL in Korea for a year so I know how crappy it is to be on the other end of racism. Few white people really do I think.
Neckbone and JW: My sentiments exactly. But believe it or not, this is like a once a week occurance. I just happened to not have enough on my plate to be able to document it. The really sad part is....I'm used to the shit.
That one wasn't long man... :)
And yeah - it happens. A short-long story. I knew someone in my office once who got lost on her way to BWI. She was on (wait for it)...New York Avenue in DC. Whooopee. She said, in her story, "I looked around, fearful, and then felt better as I saw other white people were in their cars too.". My jaw dropped. Idiot woman!!!!
LOL! That's actually very funny. I actually used to like doing the opposite- pretending that I'm afraid of a white person. Like, if I was on the metro, and a well dressed white man sat next to me, I used to clutch my purse like I was afraid he was going to steal it. The look on the white guys' faces was classic...
"Hey, I'm not a theif! Why do you think I'm gonna steal from you?!?"
Hilarious!
I hate when people are intimidated by me. It's pretty sad because I am only 5'10" about 225 lbs.
One thing I think about when people give me the "Funny Vibe" (Living Colour's song about this issue) is...They think they are important enough for me to merit throwing away all of my education, my life and my child for to do something to them? Sheeeit. Sometimes, if someone gives me a screwball look, I will clutch my backpack tighter...so they don't rob me.
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