TTTT Time Again

Most of you know the drill. The theme today is: What can you remember laughing about that you probably shouldn't have laughed at? Go.

Dry Dizzat Chronicles: Chapter III

8:45a.m.: Somebody fuckin' with me already. ...I get to my cube and there is a half empty box sitting there. Why? Whoever left it there, there was no note and from what I can tell it was a box that had a keyboard and mouse in it. Why not just take it out and leave a note or something? No. Testosterone Overload reaction: Say "Who the fuck left this box here?" No response? Cool. I toss it across the room out of my gaddamn cube. I'm here for 12 hrs today and we gonna start with THIS bullshit???

Dry Dizzat Chronicles: Chapter II

3:24 p.m.: Didn't have to chase or benchpress a bus, but for lunch I had a Betta Chedda burger, fries, coke, and a golf ball for desert.

Dry Dizzat Chronicles: Chapter I

11:55: I'm so horny now I could not only outrun a bus, but I could probably bench press that bitch too. I have plenty of Pimp Juice in my carafe; but I feel myself slowly edging towards The Dark Side.

If you are a woman and read this blog, you are endangering yourself to get some of the Juice slipped in your mental drink.

Weekend Hi-jinks

You know, I used to measure the fun level of the weekends based on whether I got laid or not. 2 weekends in a row, still got an ashy dizzat, but I had fun. Sunday wasn't fun because Sunday is always Cub Scout day and THAT shit is getting old. I drove the Offspring to his grandmother's for Church Marathon and picked him back up a few hours later. All day, all chores. But let me supplement Sunday with this....white kids, is bad. At the Pack meeting, dirty nosed white kids all over the place. Running, giggling, knocking shit over. All of them needs they asses whopped and I'm volunteering my services.

Saturday was a different story. I met up with Webmaster Mama at Gardell's and did the salsa thang. It was my first time there (reluctanctly) and I was really nervous because I got the impression that that was a serious salsa spot. No prob; they gave salsa lessons in the beginning just like my tried-and-true spot.
I don't know if it because I suck more than the last time we danced or she's gotten way better, but either way she was impressive! Way past basic shit; her and her peeps even did the rueda which was explained to me to be a Cuban equivalent of square dancing. Everybody doing the same moves simultaneaously and then changing partners. It reminded me of something you might see if the Super Bowl took place in San Juan.
It was a fun 2 hours though. Mama was a great dance teacher as she showed me a couple of moves and how of fix some of the issues I was having. I get siced!! The Long Island Iced Tea I had knocked me on my ass though. whew! Bartender Girl was seer-ious.

So that was Saturday night. Saturday during the day was good. Very amusing. First, JuneCleaver told me about a sale at one of the local Goodwill's. Everything half priced. This works for me because I am on this blazer kick. I've been wearing blazers with mocknecks and regulars. Just tired of wearing sweatshirts. I told her this and she hipped me to the jive. On the way over there, I saw 1.) a grown as girl driving a car sucking her thumb 2.) a young buck selling "fruit baskets" that consisted of a couple apples and oranges in a plastic bag. Need I say more?
Then I get to Goodwill. Found a jacket; get it. $4. Yes Sirrrrrr! I get outside, and the oddest thing happens. This older kat with Gingervitus and the Cavity Creeps approaches me:

Gingervitus: Hey! Today is your lucky day!
Me: Oh for real?
Gingervitus: Yeah. I forgot my scissors and you got one braid too many.
Me: ha ha.
Gingervitus: Wait. Befo' you go, I was wonderin' if you was hacking* today.
Me: Hackin'? Naw, man. I don't hack.
Gingervitus: No? I was wonderin' if you could take me to Florida.
Me: Florida??? Is you crazy? Naw, man. I ain't hackin' and ain't NOBODY going to no Florida!
Gingervitus: Come on bruh! I give you big money, big money.
Me: **shaken head** Naw, man.
Gingervitus: No bruh, I'm serious! I got big money! Look!
And sure enough, Gingervitus had big money. In his hands he had a penny the size of a hamburger bun and a plastic roll of money the size of a water pipe in the other. You talking about somebody crying? THAT was me. I BUSTED out laughin'. I told JuneCleaver this same story but she wasn't feelin' it. I don't know, maybe she was baking a pie or something.

Damnit!! Blogging usually helps me thru my issues, but I am STILL bent up! I am about a week away from going to Baltimore St. and paying for some Wild Thing. The last time I was on the Block, there was this BANGIN' Cuban chic just waiting for me. **sigh**

If she still waitin', I might have to cash in some coins.



*hacking- the illegal act of providing transportation services without a Commercial Drivers License

NFL In Review: The Houston Texans

This one is especially for you Reese....

Ahh, yes the Houston Texans. The pitiful redheaded stepchild of the NFL. So pitiful, they even lost the game against the San Francisco 49ers, lovingly dubbed "The Reggie Bush Bowl" as the loser of the game would get the number one pick in the NFL draft. The good news is there ain't but one way to go and that's up. They have probably the toughest quarterback in the league surviving 68 sacks this season and over 70 the previous season. They have one of the best yet unknown running back and wide reciever in the league. The bad news is the offensive line is as pourous a spaghetti strainer. What's interesting is how the coach lasted so long. Damn, how DID he get picked in the first place? He took the expansion Jacksonville Jaguars to the playoffs in their inaugural year and proceeded to run them in the toilet. GM Charley Casserly rolled the dice hoping lightning could strike twice. Nope. Not one winning season since inception. Here's what's really fun; crappy coach hire, the worst O-line in the league, and Casserly still has a job. Un-freakin' real. Casserly is a nice, lovable guy and all but please!! Fire Casserly's ass so poor David Carr can maybe extend his career by a year or two. Good luck, Mr. Bush. You are definitely gonna need that and a case of Icy Hot from Price Club. (Note I didnt say Sam's Club....fuck Wal-Mart!!)

Chocolate Drippings

This post is dedicated to all my sistas who read this blog. May you never forget that I and so many like myself adore you.



And so it seems
I observe you from afar, yet so near
I dig you from afar, yet so more near

we stand together
your world is yours
my world is mine
yet our universes collide for the beautiful harmony that is uniquely
Us

The music begins
I observe you next to me, yet so far
I dig you next to me sista girl, yet still so far

The Universe(harmony) is now in unison
guided by the beat of hip hop
guided by the beat of gospel
guided by the beat of soul
guided by the beat of rock

Your portion of the Universe(harmony) sways from top to bottom
the observations of the sway vary from
the deepest thoughts
to the most cantankerous

"Watch the sway
for here is where it all began
the fruit of the Earth
chocolate dipped and dripped covering a
sweet beautiful fruit to create even more beauty"

"Watch the sway
chocolate dipped and dripped covering
Damn how she work that thang!
that booty
that bottom
that bumper
that onion
that....apple?
yes...still that fruit!
how she make da ass do that?!??!"

**it is no wonder the Earth is now populated with billions. Whosoever resists shall be deemed insane**

And so it seems
I observe you from afar, yet so near
and yet, the distance has diminished
I dig you from afar, yet so more near

Check it.
My soul has awakened my eyes to what I have already seen
time and time again
the distance is no more
it never was there
Our Universe(harmony)
will always be
Our Universe(harmony)
so sayeth the sway
so sayeth the ancestors
so sayeth my soul

Sex Headache

Ever had a sex headache? It occurs when you havent gotten laid in a time frame that's outside of what you are used to. Its egged on when you start having those thoughts at your desk or when you are walking down the hall. The only cure for it is sleep. You go to sleep "waving a flag" and you wake up "waving a flag".

I can't blame anyone but myself. I'm just can't get my head into the thing. This feeling has some high familiarity that is really not good. I have to find something to occupy my brain and time. Maybe I will put together a boat in a bottle or some shit.

But in the meantime, I have salsa dancing, basketball game, and a concert for the weekend. I be out!


Reese, you still ain't shit!!

NFL In Review: St. Louis Rams

The St. Louis Rams could not get it going this season. They had the same issues with injuries that other teams did one time having turned to the 3rd string quarterback (A Harvard grad who just so happened to blow up his 1st game only to be shot down to Earth on his second).At the forefront were the coaching issues. You talk about dispicable; your head coach gets hospitalized indefinitely and is replaced by the Linebacker Coach Joe Vitt in the interim. Then has to sit out for a minute after a medical procedure to get replaced by an interim-interim head coach. When the 1st head coach is up and ready to coach again, president of the team John Shaw who initially said he would be shocked if Martz returned quickly back-pedaled to leave Martz on hold while porn star look-alike Vitt maintained control of the field. Now after the dust settled, Vitt is out and so is Martz. So far the interviewees for the head coaching job are all re-treads including Jim Fassell who was the Offensive (definitely offensive) Coordinator for the Baltimore Ravens. What makes him a great replacement coach? Well, he coordinated the league's 3rd least productive offense! Of course he deserves a spot as a head coach! Maybe with their QB returning and some state of peace from the front office will give the Rams the chance to shine again. Most of the the tools are there except for 2 major components, leadership and stability. See y'all in the 2007 Draft.

"That's all I ever hear! Marshall, Marshall, MARSHALL!"

Long Weekends That Suck

I've really screwed up having not planned anything either concrete or leisurely for the MLK Weekend. Here in B-more, we are blessed to have a bunch of different things to do to give reverence to the ancestors who fought for our civil rights. There is the Black in Wax Museum. If you are taking children under 5, don't bother. There are some displays that make even some adults jittery. There is also the Reginald Lewis Museum of African American History. It's a brand new museum that has displays of its namesake and other African American heroes. To those who don't know, Reginald Lewis was the first black billionaire and the first majority black owner of a publically held company.

Friday night....Brother Kojak was in the doghouse. I got home from work tired as hell. They worked me like a dog all week and I had the white flag up by 2:00. Needless to say, I was tired as hell, but we were scheduled to go salsa dancing with some of the wife's co-workers. "Not I" said the fly. I got me a 40 and some Lay's Ba-B-Que chips and that's what was gonna be up. I told her to go ahead without me because I was beat. That didn't go over well; apparently that was my way of doing something else while she was gone. Now what that could have been given my fatigue level, our sone being with me, and about $3.82 in my pocket I don't know. And just as I predicted, I was out by 10:30.

HOWEVA!

The phone rings. Its Mrs. Kojak. Waking me up.
Me: Wassup?
Mrs. Kojak: I'm lost.
Me: Where you at?
Mrs. Kojak: On Broadway. I just past Fairmount.
Me: **gaddamn! The fucken place is ON Broadway!!!** Ok. Broadway is one big hill. If you are going down the hill, u going the right direction.
Mrs. Kojak: I just past Fayette.
Me: Riiight! **repeat what I just said** The club will be on the right.
Mrs. Kojak: uh....I see the Apex Theatre. I'm crossing Lombard.
Me: **sigh** Ok. You're there for the most part after you cross Lombard. Park.
Mrs. Kojak: Where should I park?
Me: Any damn where.
Mrs. Kojak: Ok, I'm parked. **walking** Oh! There is the club right there!

Sunday I realized that I have a little bit of Real Man in me. Me and Glueman went to workout and had an abbreviated workout. We have a tendency to talk and he gave me an observation that blew my mind. I couldn't focus after that. He and I hung out a little after that, and I went home to clean the debris from my front yard. We had some serious high winds Saturday and one of the huge tree limbs fell in the front yard. Since I don't do SHIT else, I had to chop it up and move it somewhere else. I borrowed Glueman's ax. Huge mistake. That ax was duller than the tip of my dizzat. When I hit the limb with it, it was more like beating it than anything else. Luckily I had my magical machete from the southern isolated regions of the ancient Mayan empire to assist me. Chop with machete, beat with ax. Chop with machete, beat with ax. Then my neighbor comes over (God bless him. I know the name of his dog, but not him). He looks at the ax and says "Good grief! That is REALLY dull." Then he peeks over the limb: "What's that?!?!?"
Oh shit. I think I scared him..
Me: What....this? **pointing towards my holstered machete**
HelloNeighbor: Yeah
Me: **in my opera singin' voice** It's my mache-te!!!!!
HelloNeighbor: That's not a machete!
Me: What?!?!?! What the fu....what are talking about. What is it then?
HelloNeighbor: Let me see that. **holding it** Hmmm. Good weight on it. I guess you could call it a machete. A little small for one, but ok.
Me: Mmmm hmmm. Yeah.

Talkin' bout my damn machete. He musta lost his damn mind. I still got love for him though. He went back to the crib and brought back a sharper ax and a saw. He helped me cut a few limbs and then left saying "have fun!".

The short story long of this was I actually could do real man's work. I stood out there in the cold chopping wood and lifting it and carrying it just like my grand daddy and his grand daddy did. And even more like the ancestors, I had a white man telling me what was up. How 'bout that??? I did a post on real man's work a couple years ago. I was proud of that work. Check it out.

I was too lazy to do a post about the great Dr. King, so I want you to also read last year's post. I will be celebrating the holiday with a dive into how the media made one of its first attempts at crossover entertainment. What might this be? Why, Fat Albert of course! Fat Albert was the 1st cartoon to be about Black kids in the hood of Philly. What was great about it was that they had the same problems that kids anywhere else of any other color had. Cartoons are one of the few ways to bridge the generation gap between parent and child. But I digress (as usual). Enjoy your day back to work and keep on with the keepin' on. (Especially you, KC)

NFL In Review: The Philadelphia Eagles

Oh how the mighty have fallen! Its bad enough that nothing is enough for the Eagles fans, but this season the Eagles made the mistake of proving them right. Their season reminded me of one of those Civil War epics; you have the general (Andy Reid), the dashing and heroic colonel (Donovan McNabb) and the rebellious outspoken colonel (Terrell Owens). Both colonels wanted to win battles, but were never on the same page. The general decided to remove the rebellious one from duty for the sake of the overall cause. Unfortunately, the other colonel was injuried in the line of duty. And so went up the white flag. There is so much to say about this drama besides the immortal words of Rodney King. But this football team exemplified so much more than not winning football games. They demonstrated what happens when there's no leadership and no Plan C. It also showed how so few could have an effect on so many. And sadly, this epic ended totally the wrong way.

"I LOVE me some me!"

That Was Fun, Wasn't It?

My day: So far so good
What I'm Rockin': Goapele, Change It All, (thumbs up)

That was probably the funniest TTTT we've done so far monkeys. Mad props.

Whats odd is that I asked for the most trife thing anybody has done and everyone's answer was sexual. Is sex trife or is it the circumstance by which we engage in the act? Is sex only not scandalous when it involves a soundtrack and a bed of rose pedals? Hmmmm.....

On a gross note, when my son was raking leaves last Sat., he found a dead fat rat in the pile. I told him (from the confines of the kitchen) to scoop the bastard up and put him in the trash. Big mistake.
Today was trash day. Guess what was still in the garbage can? Si.
To those that don't know, I find rats and mice the most disgusting, useless, vile creatures on the face of the earth. I would rather EAT a fucken roach than to put my hands on a rat or mouse, dead or alive.

I've gotten a few emails about me and my pro athelete twin, Danny Fortson. I deduce that I have to step up my game and wear more suits. Fortson definitely doesn't have the belly I do, but I have the same shoulders. I bought this BANGIN' sports jacket from the Men's Warehouse a week or so ago. I'm going to have to rock it a few times and see the results. Of course, all my vanities are posted here so you will know what's up.

Speaking of vanities, let me paint a scenario for you. My school's basketball court. 1/4 of it divided by a 20 ft tall by 50 ft wide net. Behind the net are various workout equipment for boxing. Ok.
The goal today was timed cardio. Since I'm just getting back into it, the gym is good because the space is somewhat restricted. The objective was to run half speed for 1 minute, then walk a minute and a half, and do this for 30 minutes. Ok. So I reluctantly start....damn I'm outta shape as I'm feeling the air hit bronchial cavities that havent been opened up in months. I'm running...
Hit the corner hard. Keep running...walk

I'm running....
Hit the corner hard (finger scrape the net). Keep running....walk

I'm running....
Hit the corner hard (finger scrape the net). Keep running. Wal...

Now....most of y'all are in your 30's. Remember how Tom would be in the hammock getting his chill on and Jerry would fuck him up by spinning the hammock and Tom would slam hit the ground?

Call me Tom then.

Why I hit the corner hard fingers scrape the net and my big ass rolled up IN the damn net and Ka-BLOOW!! I'm flat on my back on the basketball court. Now, keep in mind that I'm about 250 so when I hit the ground, it's heard. The Athlete Director's office was WAY on the other side of the gym and HE (Blackfoot, he NEVER wears shoes)heard it. He come runnin' out "You alright?"
"Dude! I rolled right up into the net! Damn!"
"Yeah, I heard that."

Fuck you, Blackfoot.

TTTT: New Year's Eve

We are going to do TTTT today, however I want you guys to put comments on that are based on a New Years Eve experience; something trifling that you would never tell anyone until now. Ready? Go.

Why I'm Bitter

First of all, I stays bitter. That's number 1. Remember that.

2.) The fucken Redskins won. Bitches. There are so many reasons I hate the Redskins, but that is a totally different blog entry. Next week they play Seattle. Seahawks! Whip....they....ass!!!

3.) The fucken Steelers won too. The fucken Steelers. I despise those bitches. Why? Man...ok, first a little bit of history. When the Colts left Baltimore like a thief in the night on January 14, 1984 (if you are from B-more, you have to add the "like a thief in the night" part. It's mandatory when talking about the Colts. Seriously.), many people made the Steelers their team because of the proximity and the similarities between the cities. Also, during the recession of the 80's, a lot of folks moved from Pittsburg to B-more. Great.
So we have a lot of Steelheads in town and whenever they win on Sunday, you hear about it on Monday. Even better.

4.) Cub Scouts suck!! I'm so sick of that shit. It's so time consuming. The purpose is good for the kids but my heart really isn't in it as a Den Leader. To get together stuff all week for 15 over-privileged kids. I am seriously considering moving my son from the comfy cozy confines of his current Pack to a more gully, ghetto-ridiculous Pack in the hood; in a pack where widdlin' actually means how to cut the handcuff chains off your wrist.

5.) I didn't workout all weekend. I have to do it because I wanna look mad sexy for my graduation party. How close am I? I look like a Black, dredded version of Grimace; the fucken milkshake from McDonalds back in the day. Hot garbage.





6.) When you are single and your woman gets on your nerves, you fire her ass. When you married you have to call Siontz and Kirk, Attorneys at Law. So instead of laying down the pimp hand, you lay down like a bitch. Aint THAT a bitch!

I was talking to someone this weekend about a harem. Damn that would be the shit! Not just sexually either. You go fishing, one of them could bait the hook, hand you the remote, call downstairs for you.....**sigh**
thats just problem exemplified. It would be easier/better to just be asexual. I think I'll work on that for 2006. No coochie, EVER! Just online games, figurines to paint and trade, blogging, work, and the ocassional trip to the driving range. Porn? Strip club? Who needs it when I have Clash of Heros.


Hehhhee. That's funny. I had to stop typing I was laughin so hard....

A Plea to You Monkeys

Ok...I am going to reveal one of my weaknesses. I am a damn glory hog. i like the lime light, and I like acknowledgement. Not necessarily attention, but acknowledgement. So, I'm asking you all to acknowledge my black ass by nominating me for a bloggie. Best Blog? Hell no! I ain't rockin' like that. But I think I am niiice enough for the Best Kept Secret. So instead of looking for boobies on my site, go put your votes in and blow my head up a few more inches. I'm putting my votes in for some of the sites I enjoy too. I'll leave those sites anonymous because I don't know if any of those writers wanna be out there like that. Anyway, put your votes in, and do it before the 10th damnit!

Peace out, monkeys.


Note: Did I ever mention that the word "monkey" is my favorite word?

Oh Man!!!

I was going to post the raciest NFL In Review yet for you guys, but something is going on with Blogger. I think they are putting a hiatus on all uploads until the Microsoft's security vunerabilty is over. Either that or my job's server won't let me upload. I'm on it though. hehehe...you guys are gonna like this one. Brettman, I doing this for you, baby!!

Alisa and NeighborhoodGirl, if you are reading this, stay away from the blog for about 6, 7 more days. Hehehehe

real quick...the only thing I've been contemplating today is the supposed loss of a friendship. I have a platonic female friend who I used to be really tight with for about 4 years. Recently she decided to let her boyfriend move in with her. Great! She has not had a steady in a long time and this was only the second time she's let a man live with her. Serious relationship now. However happy she is now, our friendship as taken the knockout punch. She is rarely emails me (as oppossed to everyday), I never her call her because I feel like shit-filled pantyhose; you know....as if I'm imposing with a stink. The conclusion I've drawn is that she's outgrown me and now wants to be totally settled. This includes seperating herself more from her past. I'll keep y'all posted because a dirty email is brewing in my brain.

A couple night ago I had a disturbing nightmare that was nothing but a movie commercial. WTF? I'm not going to talk about it yet because if I were to write a short story...that is going to be the premise of it and I don't want to ruin it. Again, I'll keep you posted.

Wish me luck with my uploads.

UPDATE: The post is up. Go scroll down to check it out.

BK

NFL In The Review: The Dallas Cowboys

"How 'bout them Cowboys???" Uh...no. The Cowboys were the "Little Engine That Could" team of the NFL. All season long was an uphill battle because of key injuries and sporatic play. Unfortunately, they were in the NFC East as opposed to the NFC North and just missed the playoffs by a game. The questions that remain are what the hell are the Cowboys going to do about the QB postion? Bandaid Bledsoe is not the answer anymore. Will Kevin Jones loose his starting role? Sure looks like it! One odd thing though, everytime you looked towards the sidelines, Bill Parcells had this "Who gives a shit?" look on his face. It was sad in way because thru the years he has been one of the most intense coaches ever. Now with the death of his brother, he is contemplating retirement. Just proof again that in sports the good ones come and go just like anything else.

now, THIS would have gotten the crowd fired up!

 

Iffin' It Were ME...

We all are different. Suprisingly, we men are different from each other too. Sure, you can qualify most of us as dogs, but there are different levels. Some are mere pups, some are pedigrees, other are just mangy mutts. I've been told that I was a pedigree dog. Low-end, but pedigree. I guess one way to exemplify this is by talking about New Years Eve.

Happy NewYears, Hon
The scene is Fells Point, Baltimore. This area is right on the water overlooking the south-side of the Inner Harbor. Probably the best view outside of being at the Harbor itself. The mood: festive. Everyone is in a good mood and the weather is being very cooperative. This particular gent strolls into one of the pubs that will go unmentioned. The plan was to meet up with a platonic friend and her friends. As the night flowed into midnight, so did the alcohol. We all know how things go when the liquor be flowin', the inhibitions drop. PlatonicFriend was very snuggly; leaning on Gent1, the friendly chest pat, arm rub, the whole 9. He is the knight for her and her crew as guys waaaaay to old to be hitting on their daughters' former classmates get staved off by him. When the clock struck 12, Gent1 escorted the crew outside to watch the
fireworks. Of course, PlatonicFriend got swept up in the moment and had hands ALL over Gent1.
On the cab ride back to the hotel (hotel of the crew, Gent1 is a local), the cab was packed with ladies and they all agreed that Gent1 should ride back with them regardless of how crowded the cab was. All are ridin' in a the cab, on of the crew was in Gent1's lap and PlatonicFriend was still touchy feelly smiley sitting next to him. They get to the hotel, and PlatonicFriend, wasted, wants Gent1 to come inside. Gent1 being the gentleman that he is, bid her a fair adieu. LapFriend explained to Gent1 that PlatonicFriend was a little salty that her boyfriend couldn't hang out. LapFriend asks Gent1 if he is SURE he doesn't want to stay. Gent1 declined based on his car still being at the garage 15 blocks away. He now bids LapFriend adieu and catches a cab to the parking garage to call it a night.
Iffin' it were me......
depending on the level of platonacy, I would have serious considered knocking that out. Ok, no, I WOULD have knocked that out. Not only would I have knocked that out, I would try to get a 1-2-3 out of it. If they said no, they just say no. But my guess is that there was enough alcohol involved to pull it off. So what if you get a 3some under the influence....you can at least put that in the book. **shrugging shoulders**


Happy NewYears, Hon II
Our next story takes place a little further north; Charles Village. Charles Village is a neighborhood that's so popular that a lot of the houses have been converted to apts. to accomodate the students, yuppies, and the working broke. The atmosphere is the same as above. GentII is another single guy, late 20's, good job. He decided to spend his time in a similar way, except this time it was bar-hopping.
He went to a favorite watering hole in Charles Village that too will go unnamed. He stayed there until about 2 and then when to one of his favorite watering holes where he stayed until 5. Here is our convo...
Me: So...!! There must have been a ton of New Year's Eve (NYE) bootie out that late!

GentII: Yeah. I guess.

Me: What do you mean you guess? What were you doing out that late without trying to get you some?

GentII: Man, I'm gettin' too old for that stuff.

Me: What???? Dude, you ain't even 30 yet!!!

GentII: I will be in a few months, man. Besides, I've seen some of my boys in their mid-30's trying to pushup on chics at the bar. Its not pretty.

Me: Mmm. If you say so.

Iffin' it were me......
I would have either set up some NYE coochie, or had my game primed up for the evening so that I would be taken at minimum a nickel-piece home. There is no way you can go out like that, fellas. NYE is mandatory bootie night. Even if you have to shell out some cash or deal the ugly chic down the hall, bonin' is a must. Now as a married man, its touch and go. It could go either way. But me with my own place, no roomies, no kids....uh uh. I'm speaking French all night!
Vous le vous les boning, cheri?