I've gotten a couple of complaints on the lack of KeyLo-Lo Outfit Updates. Please see the comments from "Ghetto Language Thesis"for Wednesday's outfit. Tuesday, the outfit was springtime giddy. A pink blouse, low-cut, a long khaki yet tight around the onion skirt, high heel sandals. And of course, it wouldn't be KeyLo-Lo if there wasn't some off-th-hookness in there. The coup de grace....a tiny tiny jean jacket for uh....subtlety. I even asked her "Hey...when you giving your daughter back her jean jacket?" She sucked her teeth and said "Naw, she be borrow stuff from me! I don't know what the hell YOU talking about!" That's my girl!
As far as today? They saw that my complexion was reminiscent of Toby so they worked my black ass. We hauled computers and monitors up the stairs. The teachers had an inservice today and the principal treated them all to some Popeye's chicken. I wasnt really feeling the chicken but one of the teachers (I'll call him Dubious Smurf....he's a straight cynic) made me feel bad.
DB: Hey man, you gonna join us in the cafeteria?
me: naw, man. I wasn't in the inservice so I'll just go get my own lunch.
DB: Oh its like that huh? WEll fuck ya then. Act like you too good to eat with the rest of us folks.
Me: Man, go 'head with that.
So on the way out, the door, I did a u-turn and went to the cafeteria and joined the crew. I'm a heavy hitter when it comes to food so I got 2 pieces of chicken and a little bit of beans and rice (in which someone had eaten most of the rice out of. Reminded me of e-wife. one of her annoying little habits.) , and sat down. I have habit of going back for seconds instead of loading my plate down. When I looked to get another piece, the chicken was gone and guess who ate the last piece? Yeah, Dubious Smurf himself. Here he was ASKING me to join the crew and HE ate the last piece even though he had already had about 3 or 4 already. Greedy bastard. So I got my sorry ass up and strolled over to Burger Sling. Kangaroo meant is good this time of year.
KeyLo-Lo Outfit of the Day: None. No, she didnt come to work assed out naked, she didnt have to come in today. But she did have her daughter come pick up her check.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Ghetto Language Thesis
Its time for another one of my thesis-es. (damn, will anyone EVER tell me how to pluralize the word "thesis"? This is the 2nd time I asked y'all!) Let us discuss the phenomena of sub-cultured American language. First of all, we do not speak English in this country. We speak American. There are many words in the American language that either aren't in the English language or have been altered for the comforts of the American tongue. As in other previously colonized lands by Great Britain, the English language has been modified (or bastardized if you ask the Brits) by the occupants. Thus, throughout this discussion, I will refer to what is commonly refered to as the English language will be referred to as American for the purposes of clarity.
Because of the very diverse population of our country, there are many different sub-dialects of American. Most of those dialects are regionalized such as the Cajun dialect or the Gullah dialect in South Carolina. However, with new, non-regionalized immigration that has occurred in the past 20 years, there poses a potential for American to be enhanced based on race. Latinos make up the vast majority of immigrants to the United States. For most of these immigrants, English is the second language to them. When one speaks a language to them that is not native to them there lies the possibilty for grammatical and syntactical errors during speech. For the purposes of brevity and continuity, we will exmine the phenomena of the "S" Additon. The "S" Addition is when a speaker adds an "s" to the end of various worlds. For example, if you have a latino friend who is not only 1st or 2nd generation but also lives in what is kindly called an "underserved community", he may ask you "Do you have any beers?" Now, slang-wise there is nothing wrong this sentence. However, technically when one refers to beer in the plural (as in 1 kind of beer in some form of bulk) the term to use is "beer", not "beers". A more notable example one where we may hear a domestic worker refer to childeren in the plural form. For example "Mrs Myers (pronounced 'my-jers') have 3 childrens." Note the pluralization of "children".
The most fascinating thing about this phenomenon is that this same aberation of American occurs in the "underserved community" of Blacks as well. It is most prevalent in the Mid-Atlantic region of the country. I can vouch for this as a Baltimore (Beeeee-MORE!!) resident. For example, last week I was walking through the parking lot of the Giant grocery store. I black man approached me and asked "hey Big Bro (pronounced 'brugh', rhyming with 'duh'), you going into the Giants?" As you can see, not only is this done in the Black community, it is also done in a a sense that is completely random as in this instance where the "S" Addition was applied to a proper noun as opposed to an improper noun.
Are these 2 sub-culture instances of the "S" Addition correlated? If so, how are they? The only correlation is that both instances are derived from underserved community members. When you live in a place like that, grammer is of less importance than making life comfortable for oneself. This usually involves attempting to make money as quickly as possible as opposed to investing time and effort into education to make substanstially more after recieving a certification or degree. In other words, the small picture always looks better than the big picture such as getting a part-time job at the car repair shop instead of taking a night class.
In conclusion, this is how slang is created and established. When a group of people uses language syntax that is different from the norm, the American language is modified and enhanced. So the next time someone tells you that you look better when your hairs are shaved, simply thank them for the comments, go to the Rite Aids and purchase some shaving creams.
Because of the very diverse population of our country, there are many different sub-dialects of American. Most of those dialects are regionalized such as the Cajun dialect or the Gullah dialect in South Carolina. However, with new, non-regionalized immigration that has occurred in the past 20 years, there poses a potential for American to be enhanced based on race. Latinos make up the vast majority of immigrants to the United States. For most of these immigrants, English is the second language to them. When one speaks a language to them that is not native to them there lies the possibilty for grammatical and syntactical errors during speech. For the purposes of brevity and continuity, we will exmine the phenomena of the "S" Additon. The "S" Addition is when a speaker adds an "s" to the end of various worlds. For example, if you have a latino friend who is not only 1st or 2nd generation but also lives in what is kindly called an "underserved community", he may ask you "Do you have any beers?" Now, slang-wise there is nothing wrong this sentence. However, technically when one refers to beer in the plural (as in 1 kind of beer in some form of bulk) the term to use is "beer", not "beers". A more notable example one where we may hear a domestic worker refer to childeren in the plural form. For example "Mrs Myers (pronounced 'my-jers') have 3 childrens." Note the pluralization of "children".
The most fascinating thing about this phenomenon is that this same aberation of American occurs in the "underserved community" of Blacks as well. It is most prevalent in the Mid-Atlantic region of the country. I can vouch for this as a Baltimore (Beeeee-MORE!!) resident. For example, last week I was walking through the parking lot of the Giant grocery store. I black man approached me and asked "hey Big Bro (pronounced 'brugh', rhyming with 'duh'), you going into the Giants?" As you can see, not only is this done in the Black community, it is also done in a a sense that is completely random as in this instance where the "S" Addition was applied to a proper noun as opposed to an improper noun.
Are these 2 sub-culture instances of the "S" Addition correlated? If so, how are they? The only correlation is that both instances are derived from underserved community members. When you live in a place like that, grammer is of less importance than making life comfortable for oneself. This usually involves attempting to make money as quickly as possible as opposed to investing time and effort into education to make substanstially more after recieving a certification or degree. In other words, the small picture always looks better than the big picture such as getting a part-time job at the car repair shop instead of taking a night class.
In conclusion, this is how slang is created and established. When a group of people uses language syntax that is different from the norm, the American language is modified and enhanced. So the next time someone tells you that you look better when your hairs are shaved, simply thank them for the comments, go to the Rite Aids and purchase some shaving creams.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Black Men vs. White Men
Congratulate me.....I've gotten over a 1000 hits. Meaning? Not a damn thing; just that I check the counter on this site WAY too much.
Please pardon my grammatical and spelling errors as I don't have a whole lot of time to to blog to percision. TG...how you doin', giiirl?
Let's see. Let me see if I can summarize what's gone on since I've last blogged. Friday I got my first real check even though its chicken feed. Hey, it was better than the used chicken feed I was getting before.
KeyLo-Lo Outfit of the Day for Monday: low cut white blouse, tan jacket. (A real jacket, not one for being subtle) Long (hey! past the knees and er'thing!), matching skirt. Tight around the ass **smile** Now, even though the dress code was sent out in the email to teachers and staff, she is STILL KeyLo-Lo so she had to have SOMETHING off the chain. How about white, high heel stilletto boots?
I was supposed to be studying this weekend but I ain't study shit. Went out on Friday And Sat. Friday I was out with...let's call her The Castelian. Went to eat and laugh. It was fun. I don't know whether its the accent or the mannerisms, but every other sentence she has me laughing. Sat., me and the Glueman went out. First we went to a restaurant/lounge where the drinks put us on our asses. We ordered chicken wings just to sober up. They had a live band as well. Decent band but I wasnt feeling the lead singer. She was cool until she sang Jill Scott's "Is This The Way". First of all, you can't sing that song w/o background singers of which she had not. Secondly (and my sistas out there will understand this), its not a sound to song to be "sanged" i.e. a song that u can sing with improv and extra skills. She tried all of this, and neither Glueman or myself were feeling it. We decided to leave to go to our favorite strip club instead. We get down there, struggled to find a parking space (yes, there is a night life in B-more. Who knew?), and started walked. Before we got to our street, Glueman stopped and said "Hey, let's check out this Hustler spot. I want to see what its like in there." "Alright." I replied.
So we go in there. Come to find out that there is a cover of $15 a head for the place. Now, I'm not used to paying a cover, but Glueman has been to spots where you had to pay to get in that were off the chain. So as I stepped back, he stepped forward. "Don't worry, I got this." he said and proceed to pay for my cover. Cool.
We step in, and its a beautiful spot. lofts that are lit around the base, black lacquer bars, and red and black chairs with wheels on them so that you can slide your ass all over the place. They also had an emcee. "Uh oh.." I thought. "This is a white boy spot..."
Why do I say that? Because all of the strip clubs I've ever been to that had an emcee were always prodominantly white patrons and strippers. Nothing wrong with that except that the strippers are usually too bony for my tastes and the sistas or other minorities that strip there usually have that same physique. Not THAT....hurts your feelings.
Sure enough, narr'a ass chics. No seductive poses or booty shaking. As a matter of fact, the deal was for guys to pick out a girl they like for a lap dance. The stage dance was lame as hell; girls were just twirling around the pole looking up at the ceiling, at the floor. The best part was them climbing up these 20 ft poles and sliding upside down and stopping mid-pole. Yippee. Our comments?
"Man, that bitch been up there 10 minutes and STILL got clothes on!"
"What the fuck is she looking at up there?"
"Her ass looks like a long ass back."
"This is some straight garbage, sun."
So, $30 broke-er, We left. That was the first time either of us had ever left a club without giving up the loot. " Man, that was some ol' bullshit!" He yelled on the way out. "Let's go to the real joint."
We went into the coverless, preppy white guy-less strip club. At this club, if you came in with a flat ass the only good you are to the spot is to mop and vacuum the floors and THAT is only when the place is closed! I spent about $20 and so did Glueman.
So why is it that I can go into a damn near dive, slip pass a soon to be fight, and have a good time? Becauuuuse I can go to a brotha strip club, sit at the bar; hear 50 Cent instead of Motley Crue's old ass; have a phat caramel delight rascal (PCDR) bend over, shake her ass about a foot in front of me and smack it to persuade me to insert my tithe and offering. I can be in here in the middle of a luke warm beer and get a tap on the shoulder from a PCDR or maybe even a phat laitte rascal (PLR) asking me if I want to buy her a drink; code word for timed lap dance. I'm such a sucker for those! Now, why white guys can't go for that I don't know. They would rather have a woman shaped like their pubicent little brother leading them around by the hand for a lap dance that includes her calling his name out as if he were getting boned. Chile please.
Ok...I've lost my flow because I was writing this at 2 this afternoon and it is now 11:20. Sorry.
Oh! Here's what I forgot:
Dumbest comment of the day: I was at the Ross
buying a shirt when this old lady came up to the
counter. The man working the counter said "Ma'am,
there is a line over there for your purchases. And
she said "But I'm not buying anything. Do I have to
stand in line of I'm not buying anything?" The man
said "Uh....no." But I'm sure he wanted to say
"then what the fuck you standing here for????" It
was too funny.
Please pardon my grammatical and spelling errors as I don't have a whole lot of time to to blog to percision. TG...how you doin', giiirl?
Let's see. Let me see if I can summarize what's gone on since I've last blogged. Friday I got my first real check even though its chicken feed. Hey, it was better than the used chicken feed I was getting before.
KeyLo-Lo Outfit of the Day for Monday: low cut white blouse, tan jacket. (A real jacket, not one for being subtle) Long (hey! past the knees and er'thing!), matching skirt. Tight around the ass **smile** Now, even though the dress code was sent out in the email to teachers and staff, she is STILL KeyLo-Lo so she had to have SOMETHING off the chain. How about white, high heel stilletto boots?
I was supposed to be studying this weekend but I ain't study shit. Went out on Friday And Sat. Friday I was out with...let's call her The Castelian. Went to eat and laugh. It was fun. I don't know whether its the accent or the mannerisms, but every other sentence she has me laughing. Sat., me and the Glueman went out. First we went to a restaurant/lounge where the drinks put us on our asses. We ordered chicken wings just to sober up. They had a live band as well. Decent band but I wasnt feeling the lead singer. She was cool until she sang Jill Scott's "Is This The Way". First of all, you can't sing that song w/o background singers of which she had not. Secondly (and my sistas out there will understand this), its not a sound to song to be "sanged" i.e. a song that u can sing with improv and extra skills. She tried all of this, and neither Glueman or myself were feeling it. We decided to leave to go to our favorite strip club instead. We get down there, struggled to find a parking space (yes, there is a night life in B-more. Who knew?), and started walked. Before we got to our street, Glueman stopped and said "Hey, let's check out this Hustler spot. I want to see what its like in there." "Alright." I replied.
So we go in there. Come to find out that there is a cover of $15 a head for the place. Now, I'm not used to paying a cover, but Glueman has been to spots where you had to pay to get in that were off the chain. So as I stepped back, he stepped forward. "Don't worry, I got this." he said and proceed to pay for my cover. Cool.
We step in, and its a beautiful spot. lofts that are lit around the base, black lacquer bars, and red and black chairs with wheels on them so that you can slide your ass all over the place. They also had an emcee. "Uh oh.." I thought. "This is a white boy spot..."
Why do I say that? Because all of the strip clubs I've ever been to that had an emcee were always prodominantly white patrons and strippers. Nothing wrong with that except that the strippers are usually too bony for my tastes and the sistas or other minorities that strip there usually have that same physique. Not THAT....hurts your feelings.
Sure enough, narr'a ass chics. No seductive poses or booty shaking. As a matter of fact, the deal was for guys to pick out a girl they like for a lap dance. The stage dance was lame as hell; girls were just twirling around the pole looking up at the ceiling, at the floor. The best part was them climbing up these 20 ft poles and sliding upside down and stopping mid-pole. Yippee. Our comments?
"Man, that bitch been up there 10 minutes and STILL got clothes on!"
"What the fuck is she looking at up there?"
"Her ass looks like a long ass back."
"This is some straight garbage, sun."
So, $30 broke-er, We left. That was the first time either of us had ever left a club without giving up the loot. " Man, that was some ol' bullshit!" He yelled on the way out. "Let's go to the real joint."
We went into the coverless, preppy white guy-less strip club. At this club, if you came in with a flat ass the only good you are to the spot is to mop and vacuum the floors and THAT is only when the place is closed! I spent about $20 and so did Glueman.
So why is it that I can go into a damn near dive, slip pass a soon to be fight, and have a good time? Becauuuuse I can go to a brotha strip club, sit at the bar; hear 50 Cent instead of Motley Crue's old ass; have a phat caramel delight rascal (PCDR) bend over, shake her ass about a foot in front of me and smack it to persuade me to insert my tithe and offering. I can be in here in the middle of a luke warm beer and get a tap on the shoulder from a PCDR or maybe even a phat laitte rascal (PLR) asking me if I want to buy her a drink; code word for timed lap dance. I'm such a sucker for those! Now, why white guys can't go for that I don't know. They would rather have a woman shaped like their pubicent little brother leading them around by the hand for a lap dance that includes her calling his name out as if he were getting boned. Chile please.
Ok...I've lost my flow because I was writing this at 2 this afternoon and it is now 11:20. Sorry.
Oh! Here's what I forgot:
Dumbest comment of the day: I was at the Ross
buying a shirt when this old lady came up to the
counter. The man working the counter said "Ma'am,
there is a line over there for your purchases. And
she said "But I'm not buying anything. Do I have to
stand in line of I'm not buying anything?" The man
said "Uh....no." But I'm sure he wanted to say
"then what the fuck you standing here for????" It
was too funny.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Popularity
I see that I've lost my popularity. My hits have fallen off like whoa. I guess I need to write more thesises. (How the hell do you spell the plural of "thesis"?) Also because I've been so busy lately as well. Its school and work. Nothing else. Well, nothing that I'm going to share with most of you. **smile** I can tell you one thing. There IS one thing we can talk about. The farce of spring break. Man, I've only have one really good spring break, and my ass wasn't even in school. Me and some co-workers decided to go to the Bahamas for a long weekend. Man, we had a blast! No one got laid though. THat was odd. We were down there with the U of TN and those chics were bananas.
OH SHIT!! I just found out that my pay is f^*&ing PRORATED for 0ver 12 months because I'm a 10 month employee. You know what means? I'm still broke! Hatin' life man.....
**sigh**
KeyLo-Lo Outfit of the Day: capri jeans, loose on the legs, tight everywhere else. White low-cut blouse white a pink jacket. Oh.....PINK, stilletto boots. pink SUEDE, stilletto boots.
Uh....yeah.
Note: I met who presume was her oldest daughter. Odd, daughter was slightly on the homely side considering her lavishly, stripper-pole dressed mother.
OH SHIT!! I just found out that my pay is f^*&ing PRORATED for 0ver 12 months because I'm a 10 month employee. You know what means? I'm still broke! Hatin' life man.....
**sigh**
KeyLo-Lo Outfit of the Day: capri jeans, loose on the legs, tight everywhere else. White low-cut blouse white a pink jacket. Oh.....PINK, stilletto boots. pink SUEDE, stilletto boots.
Uh....yeah.
Note: I met who presume was her oldest daughter. Odd, daughter was slightly on the homely side considering her lavishly, stripper-pole dressed mother.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Outfit for The Day
Key-LoLo Outfit of the Day: very conservative (for her at least. ) Khaki colored linen-ish pant suit with white top. Discovery: Tongue ring.
We need to put this chic on a stripper pole, right?
We need to put this chic on a stripper pole, right?
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Did you just fart?
Here at work there is a phenomena that I didn't know existed in typical office space. That is the Code of The Fart. I've always worked in office corporate office spaces where space is of high value. Peopled are cubicled for efficiency and managers are in offices with large glass windows. I don't know if these windows are for them to see what's going on on the office floor, or for you to walk by their enclosed space and stare at them like violent monkeys at the zoo. "Oh look, Little Johnny. Look at this one. Its call a Carl Mungro. Look how he picks his nose after he eats his lunch...."
Anyway, I'm digressing. Here at the school, office space has not become a high commodity yet. Offices are scattered throughout the school and most people (except teachers) have their own office. Now, what has ME buggin' out is the fact that these occupants feel it is ok to cut their ass in the office. I guess it IS ok, but damn! Don't somebody else gotta come in there and smell your festering ass? What type shit is that? And hey! Let's not be prejudice; that goes for the ladies as well. Seems like no one's office around here is safe. I'm considering writing a memo about the corporate Code of Fart. "If one has flatulence, he/she must remove themselves from the working office area and proceed to pollute either the restroom or an unoccupied storage space." It needs work, but I remember when I worked in a cube I tried to remove myself because the shit would linger, n'yamean? Man!
Key-LoLo Outfit of the Day: With pant suit. high heel boots, lime green Bebe Sport shirt, tight. The tits are screaming for help. "Give us free! Give us FREE!" Either no panties or invisible thongs. I need to go take another look :-)
Outfit of the Day (Yesterday): Lime green off the shoulder sweater, very snug white slacks.
You know, what REALLY fucks me up about the outfits she wears is that she has to have a pair of handcuffs on her person at all times. So fellas, imagine ever day seeing this PRWR (phat, 'round the way rascal) everyday in these outfits, AND a pair of handcuffs spanking the top of her onion-like ass everytime she walks. Someone hand me a napkin please.....
Anyway, I'm digressing. Here at the school, office space has not become a high commodity yet. Offices are scattered throughout the school and most people (except teachers) have their own office. Now, what has ME buggin' out is the fact that these occupants feel it is ok to cut their ass in the office. I guess it IS ok, but damn! Don't somebody else gotta come in there and smell your festering ass? What type shit is that? And hey! Let's not be prejudice; that goes for the ladies as well. Seems like no one's office around here is safe. I'm considering writing a memo about the corporate Code of Fart. "If one has flatulence, he/she must remove themselves from the working office area and proceed to pollute either the restroom or an unoccupied storage space." It needs work, but I remember when I worked in a cube I tried to remove myself because the shit would linger, n'yamean? Man!
Key-LoLo Outfit of the Day: With pant suit. high heel boots, lime green Bebe Sport shirt, tight. The tits are screaming for help. "Give us free! Give us FREE!" Either no panties or invisible thongs. I need to go take another look :-)
Outfit of the Day (Yesterday): Lime green off the shoulder sweater, very snug white slacks.
You know, what REALLY fucks me up about the outfits she wears is that she has to have a pair of handcuffs on her person at all times. So fellas, imagine ever day seeing this PRWR (phat, 'round the way rascal) everyday in these outfits, AND a pair of handcuffs spanking the top of her onion-like ass everytime she walks. Someone hand me a napkin please.....
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
What I Want to Be When I Grow Up
Odd. I can't believe I keep forgetting to blog this so I'm going to do it now. This instance happened some time ago and I feel bad for not blogging it.
One day me, the principal and the program director were in the principal's office. The program director is only 3 years from retiring so I asked him "what are you going to do as your retirement job? You are too much of a work-a-holic to sit at home and do nothing."
PD: I just want a part-time job working for the airlines doing customer service.
Me: Huh? Are you kidding? That sounds kinda stressful to me. Why would you want to do that?
PD: Because I can get free or discounted airfare. When the job is bugging me, I just say 'oh! I'm out. Let me hop on a plane somewhere.
Princ. and I: OH!
Me: Well, when I grow up, I want to own and work in a record store. No one will have to know I own it, I'll just be the old guy who goes around talking to everybody in the store about music.
Princ.: I know this sounds crazy, but as MY retirement job, I don't want to have any real responsibilities or deal with anyone on a deep level. I want the classic old guy job.
PD: What's that?
Princ.: Hot dog vendor at football and baseball games. I would just walk around with my carrying tray "Hot dogs, hot dogs! Get your fresh hot dogs!"
**all laugh, then look at each other in nodding approval, then disperse**
To my readers, what do YOU want to be when you grow up? I.E. your retirement job. You HAVE to have a retirement, unfortunately. Social Security is damn near bankrupt, We Generation X'ers suck at saving money, and worst of all, we've been programmed to be workaholics. Hit me back with your answer in the comments.
One day me, the principal and the program director were in the principal's office. The program director is only 3 years from retiring so I asked him "what are you going to do as your retirement job? You are too much of a work-a-holic to sit at home and do nothing."
PD: I just want a part-time job working for the airlines doing customer service.
Me: Huh? Are you kidding? That sounds kinda stressful to me. Why would you want to do that?
PD: Because I can get free or discounted airfare. When the job is bugging me, I just say 'oh! I'm out. Let me hop on a plane somewhere.
Princ. and I: OH!
Me: Well, when I grow up, I want to own and work in a record store. No one will have to know I own it, I'll just be the old guy who goes around talking to everybody in the store about music.
Princ.: I know this sounds crazy, but as MY retirement job, I don't want to have any real responsibilities or deal with anyone on a deep level. I want the classic old guy job.
PD: What's that?
Princ.: Hot dog vendor at football and baseball games. I would just walk around with my carrying tray "Hot dogs, hot dogs! Get your fresh hot dogs!"
**all laugh, then look at each other in nodding approval, then disperse**
To my readers, what do YOU want to be when you grow up? I.E. your retirement job. You HAVE to have a retirement, unfortunately. Social Security is damn near bankrupt, We Generation X'ers suck at saving money, and worst of all, we've been programmed to be workaholics. Hit me back with your answer in the comments.
Monday, March 07, 2005
"...just do the damn chicken."
Alright! Did everyone have a great weekend? Good cause mine was a bit to be desired. We won't get into that here.
I DID watch Dateline about Pastor Benny. I'm sorry, but to me that is straight comedy! If you saw those poor people falling out after receiving the "laying of the hands". One man was all about the histrionics; he got the holy ghost and jumped back like the Matrix. Man, I was too thru. And I can laugh because my grandmother used to always get into those television evangelists. She was smart about it though; she'd watch and would RARELY send money, but she would make SURE that Reverend Ike would give her the lucky blessed numbers for the lottery.
Hmm.....TG. How you doing today girl? So you look like Marlo Thomas huh? Then you must be a PHYNE ASS white girl! Hehehhehe. I don't have much luck with white women....well, except for that time with me and Jennifer Anniston. But we won't talk about that....
So...what does "just do the damn chicken" mean? Well, my co-worker and I were having a discussion about people wanting to run the show even though they only have one or 2 assignments. There is a security guard here who ALWAYS has something to say about how somebody else ain't doing there job. I was sharing a story about that with one of my co-workers (I forgot the nickname I gave him) and he told me a story:
"Man, that sounds like this chic I used to work with. She worked in the cafeteria and overheard some other teachers talking about some shit I had done. She pulled me up about it talkin' 'bout 'Oh...I heard you was doing so-and-so. What's that all about? Ain't you supposed to be working with that woman or something?'
Man, I looked up at her and said 'Bitch, just do the goddam chicken and shut the fuck up' and walked out. I made SURE I had my food though first, bro 'cause I didn't want her fucking with my shit.'
Ever since I've adopted that phrase. I'm a little tamer with it though. When I was studying this weekend, my study partner was commenting on something and I told her 'Just do the damn chicken and mind you'ren.' It's actually good advice to apply to yourself. When you see someone fucken up at work and you want to say something to someone just tell yourself 'Self, just do the damn chicken.'
KeyLo-Lo oufit of the day: George Bush Conservative. Well, for her ass it is. Long sleeve pink stripped shirt, snug (not tight) pink slacks. Sound str8? I ain't finished...Black tanga. Le Wow.
I DID watch Dateline about Pastor Benny. I'm sorry, but to me that is straight comedy! If you saw those poor people falling out after receiving the "laying of the hands". One man was all about the histrionics; he got the holy ghost and jumped back like the Matrix. Man, I was too thru. And I can laugh because my grandmother used to always get into those television evangelists. She was smart about it though; she'd watch and would RARELY send money, but she would make SURE that Reverend Ike would give her the lucky blessed numbers for the lottery.
Hmm.....TG. How you doing today girl? So you look like Marlo Thomas huh? Then you must be a PHYNE ASS white girl! Hehehhehe. I don't have much luck with white women....well, except for that time with me and Jennifer Anniston. But we won't talk about that....
So...what does "just do the damn chicken" mean? Well, my co-worker and I were having a discussion about people wanting to run the show even though they only have one or 2 assignments. There is a security guard here who ALWAYS has something to say about how somebody else ain't doing there job. I was sharing a story about that with one of my co-workers (I forgot the nickname I gave him) and he told me a story:
"Man, that sounds like this chic I used to work with. She worked in the cafeteria and overheard some other teachers talking about some shit I had done. She pulled me up about it talkin' 'bout 'Oh...I heard you was doing so-and-so. What's that all about? Ain't you supposed to be working with that woman or something?'
Man, I looked up at her and said 'Bitch, just do the goddam chicken and shut the fuck up' and walked out. I made SURE I had my food though first, bro 'cause I didn't want her fucking with my shit.'
Ever since I've adopted that phrase. I'm a little tamer with it though. When I was studying this weekend, my study partner was commenting on something and I told her 'Just do the damn chicken and mind you'ren.' It's actually good advice to apply to yourself. When you see someone fucken up at work and you want to say something to someone just tell yourself 'Self, just do the damn chicken.'
KeyLo-Lo oufit of the day: George Bush Conservative. Well, for her ass it is. Long sleeve pink stripped shirt, snug (not tight) pink slacks. Sound str8? I ain't finished...Black tanga. Le Wow.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Blogging Moments of the Week
Tues 2/28 We have a new co-worker in town. I can't seem to come up with a name for her because I want to be descriptive, yet I want to be accurate. How do I do this...let's see....ok, Let's say you mixed Lil' Kim with her look and ghetto-fab persona, Alicia Keys with her voice, braids, and glasses, and added about 4 more inches in height. THAT, is the new chic. Today's outfit is black tight pants and a form-fitting shirt. Let's give her a name after one of my favorite Martin characters; KeyLo-Lo
Wed. 3/1 I saw a colleague in the hallway. Now, let me give you a little background info. Everyone here is pretty much new, however, all of them started thru orientation at the same time. I wasn't part of that crew so I'm the outsider looking in. So they would do things together that excluded me like get the faggy Starbucks, go get drinks after work, and so on. I've forced my way in. I've even gone so far as to give AwwHellNo a note during class saying "Uh huh. And where's MY damn Starbucks?" Slowly, I've come into that circle but its too late. Looks like the circle is breaking up. Anyway, I see D-Money coming down the hallway carrying a Starbucks tray. And of course, since the last time my line worked so well on AwwHellNo (she busted out laughing in class), I figured I'd used it again. "Yeah....yeah! Whe.....where, where MY Starbucks at? Why I aint got no Starbucks? Huh? HUH?"
"Here boy! NOW what you got to say?"
"Uh....Thanks?"
"Yeah, speechless aren't you?"
"Yeah, actually I am. Thanks D-Money. Feeling small right about now."
"Uh huh" **laughing and walking away**
KeyLo-Lo Outfit of the Day: Angrily tight pink pants and top.
Kids jonin' on my sweater...called me sweet because it was a v-neck. **sigh**
Thurs. 3/2
I go to the Bojangle's (local chicken joint chain in a predominantly Black county....go figure) to get me some breakfast. I order my food, and there is a brother behind me in line. I get my coffee straighted out (which tasted like bull piss) and before I finish, he says "hey man, your food ready." "thanks." I replied. "Just as long as you don't eat it and shit. My feelings would be straight up hurt. Its too EARLY in the mo'ning to be fightin' a mu fucka. I'd probably just be mad the rest of the day." He cracked up.
KeyLo-Lo Outfit of the Day: THIS will get your ass fired at most places, tight jean capris, stiletto boots, tight low-cut Bebe tee (with a tiny jean jacket for subtlety.)
Kids were jonin' on my pants....said they looked ashy. As if I were rolling in flour.
Wed. 3/1 I saw a colleague in the hallway. Now, let me give you a little background info. Everyone here is pretty much new, however, all of them started thru orientation at the same time. I wasn't part of that crew so I'm the outsider looking in. So they would do things together that excluded me like get the faggy Starbucks, go get drinks after work, and so on. I've forced my way in. I've even gone so far as to give AwwHellNo a note during class saying "Uh huh. And where's MY damn Starbucks?" Slowly, I've come into that circle but its too late. Looks like the circle is breaking up. Anyway, I see D-Money coming down the hallway carrying a Starbucks tray. And of course, since the last time my line worked so well on AwwHellNo (she busted out laughing in class), I figured I'd used it again. "Yeah....yeah! Whe.....where, where MY Starbucks at? Why I aint got no Starbucks? Huh? HUH?"
"Here boy! NOW what you got to say?"
"Uh....Thanks?"
"Yeah, speechless aren't you?"
"Yeah, actually I am. Thanks D-Money. Feeling small right about now."
"Uh huh" **laughing and walking away**
KeyLo-Lo Outfit of the Day: Angrily tight pink pants and top.
Kids jonin' on my sweater...called me sweet because it was a v-neck. **sigh**
Thurs. 3/2
I go to the Bojangle's (local chicken joint chain in a predominantly Black county....go figure) to get me some breakfast. I order my food, and there is a brother behind me in line. I get my coffee straighted out (which tasted like bull piss) and before I finish, he says "hey man, your food ready." "thanks." I replied. "Just as long as you don't eat it and shit. My feelings would be straight up hurt. Its too EARLY in the mo'ning to be fightin' a mu fucka. I'd probably just be mad the rest of the day." He cracked up.
KeyLo-Lo Outfit of the Day: THIS will get your ass fired at most places, tight jean capris, stiletto boots, tight low-cut Bebe tee (with a tiny jean jacket for subtlety.)
Kids were jonin' on my pants....said they looked ashy. As if I were rolling in flour.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Hitch
Friday I went to see "Hitch" with the fam. I'm not a Will Smith in the least, but this film was watchable. Although predictable, Will Smith and Kevin James had a good comedic chemistry. What really did it for me was the presence of Eva Mendez. Chile please! That girl is FYNE! She can't act shit, but her physique did all the talking; and damnit I was listening!
Some little tidbits from my viewing pleasure:
When we arrived my hyper-son was in 4th gear with no signs of slowing down. While we were looking for somewhere to sit, a gentleman moved his coat so that there would be 3 seats next to each other. Because of the small fry, I sat next to the man. You know, as funny as that movie was, the guy sitting next didn't even laugh. Well, there was one part...there was a scene where Mendez was sitting in front of the tv crying. Now, instead of her crying over some typical romance movie like "Casablanca" or "Reds", she was crying over "Jerry MacGuire". I thought this was funny, but my neighbor found it hilarious. I even pulled him up and said "damn. That was the first time you laughed all movie!"
"But she's crying over Jerry MacGuire! Jerry MacGuire??" and began to laugh some more. At the end of the movie, the cast does a dance scene in like a Soul Train line. There was a part where Will Smith and Eva Mendez were dancing together with her fyne ass self. Evidently, I wasn't the only one who noticed because my neighbor nudged me hard. I said "Dude, I've been bugging thru the WHOLE movie."
Overall, it was a great date movie. The guys will laugh and the girls will go "awww!" Very predictable, but the writers put various changes in the comedic romance formula to keep it interesting. Casting Eva Mendez didn't hurt either. MMM mmm mmmm.
Some little tidbits from my viewing pleasure:
When we arrived my hyper-son was in 4th gear with no signs of slowing down. While we were looking for somewhere to sit, a gentleman moved his coat so that there would be 3 seats next to each other. Because of the small fry, I sat next to the man. You know, as funny as that movie was, the guy sitting next didn't even laugh. Well, there was one part...there was a scene where Mendez was sitting in front of the tv crying. Now, instead of her crying over some typical romance movie like "Casablanca" or "Reds", she was crying over "Jerry MacGuire". I thought this was funny, but my neighbor found it hilarious. I even pulled him up and said "damn. That was the first time you laughed all movie!"
"But she's crying over Jerry MacGuire! Jerry MacGuire??" and began to laugh some more. At the end of the movie, the cast does a dance scene in like a Soul Train line. There was a part where Will Smith and Eva Mendez were dancing together with her fyne ass self. Evidently, I wasn't the only one who noticed because my neighbor nudged me hard. I said "Dude, I've been bugging thru the WHOLE movie."
Overall, it was a great date movie. The guys will laugh and the girls will go "awww!" Very predictable, but the writers put various changes in the comedic romance formula to keep it interesting. Casting Eva Mendez didn't hurt either. MMM mmm mmmm.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
I'm so hurt....
...by life. Sometimes life can be so betraying. The wonderful moments you share with others just to get smacked in the face by circumstances that no one will be able to change. Once a week for 20 weeks I've been working with a group of 30 kids in the projects of Prince George's County. They have been my source for many a beer I've drank, laughs, and even a couple blog entries. You spend that much time with children there are bound to be some form of attachment to them and vice versa. You want it to be an attachment of great things happening in their lives: "Great report card, Monica!" "You got the lead role in the school play? Cool." But Unfortunately, life doesn't work like that. There are hurdles and obstacles in the path of growth. If we are lucky, those obstacles happen when we are an age to be resourceful enough to take all things in stride. Unfortunately, some of us are not that blessed. Some of us have to be parents to our parents.
Our program is almost a family affair. We have so many kids because there are a few brother-sister combinations. Yesterday I was told that one of the combos got evicted from their apartment. That blows me. How the fuck you gonna get put out of a Section 8 apartment? The rent is only like $50 a month! The whole situation was fucked up. The rumor was they were put out without notice. I'm sure they were way behind on rent though. Not that they were so poor, its that the parents were so fucked up. They are drug addicts. They decided to consolidate themselves and have 3 adults and 6 children in a goddamn apartment. That's some shit. Now, thier kids are in a shelter and since one of them is close to 12, HE probably will end up in foster care. For those who know me, you know I'm a pretty testosterone driven man. But this situation had a brother choked up for a minute. I guess because of the whole unjustness of the thing. These don't want to do anything but go to school and play. That's it! And now they have to be punished for the stupidity of their parents. And me, I think about the intangibles of the thing. Not the fact that they are in a damn shelter, but "who is going to braid S___e's hair? How is this going to effect D____e? Are T____e's grades going to take a nosedive?"
I apologize for this blog because I know most of you come here for something funny to read. I ain't got nothing for you and even if I did this is so huge that not too much of anything is going to be amusing.
Our program is almost a family affair. We have so many kids because there are a few brother-sister combinations. Yesterday I was told that one of the combos got evicted from their apartment. That blows me. How the fuck you gonna get put out of a Section 8 apartment? The rent is only like $50 a month! The whole situation was fucked up. The rumor was they were put out without notice. I'm sure they were way behind on rent though. Not that they were so poor, its that the parents were so fucked up. They are drug addicts. They decided to consolidate themselves and have 3 adults and 6 children in a goddamn apartment. That's some shit. Now, thier kids are in a shelter and since one of them is close to 12, HE probably will end up in foster care. For those who know me, you know I'm a pretty testosterone driven man. But this situation had a brother choked up for a minute. I guess because of the whole unjustness of the thing. These don't want to do anything but go to school and play. That's it! And now they have to be punished for the stupidity of their parents. And me, I think about the intangibles of the thing. Not the fact that they are in a damn shelter, but "who is going to braid S___e's hair? How is this going to effect D____e? Are T____e's grades going to take a nosedive?"
I apologize for this blog because I know most of you come here for something funny to read. I ain't got nothing for you and even if I did this is so huge that not too much of anything is going to be amusing.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Nasty bastards...
I'm pulling out of my ex's driveway. I see this couple walking down the street. They stop, the woman looks at the man and proceeds to wipe something from his nose. Ish. That's gross enough, but why come after a brief exchange (mostly from him) does she let this mutha fucka BLOWN HIS NOSE INTO HER SLEEVE?!??!?! What type nasty shit is that????
Dirty mutha fuckas......
Dirty mutha fuckas......
Sunday, February 20, 2005
The Ba-bashop
The black barbershop is a place of gathering news, insight, and services. I can't tell you how many contractors or services I've picked up from going to the barbershop. Its also the place where, believe it or not, the art of the African story telling takes place. The 2 "Barbershop" movies did an ok job of bringing that part of the community to life, but there was much to be desired. Here are some examples that were missed in the movie:
1.) People coming in there always selling some half-ass shit.
2.) Homeless people coming in not begging, but getting as much free shit as they can or use the bathroom before they get run out.
3.) Baby mama drama
4.) waiting an hour for your barber to show up.
Yesterday, a homeless man came in and took a rack of condoms from the community basket. He would have taken more if everyone in the shop wasn't gawking at him. When I saw him outside, he was sitting on the steps of another spot with his legs crossed smoking a cigarette as if he were sitting there waiting on his bitches.
LOL! Oh man that was too funny. Here he is, no house, no job, no gear, and he claimin' more than me!
So I'm sitting in there with Canon the Barber and Phil. I've known Canon for years, cool, slick unreliable yet very reliable brother. I better break that down. Canon is the type who if you say "let's go to the Orioles game. I got the tickets. Call me when you get off work"
"aight"
**crickets chirping**
But if I say something like "Yo, I'm at Penn Station with no ride. I know its snowing and shit, but can you and the Blazer come pick me up?"
"aight"
He may take a while to get there, but he'll be there. Phil I don't know. All I know is that he does contractual jobs for builders. So the 3 of us and a couple others are back in Canon's area. Canon was cutting a head, and I was talking to my son. Canon suddenly lifted his head up:
Canon: Hey nigga, what you gonna do with that?
Phil: what?
Canon: that booga you just flicked outta your nose, niggga. I know you just aint put that on my floor!
Phil: **laughing** Aw man! Go head with that! I ain't dig in my nose!
Canon: Yes you did. you dug, flicked it, then wiped the shit on your pants.
**all laugh**'s
Me: Man, that how they do, Canon. Them kats that work on construction sites and shit...they nasty!
Canon: yeah man!
Phil: Aw there YOU go! Looking like that nigga on the Black Eyed Peas
**all laugh**
Me: aight, aight. But I know that you kats do all kinds of nasty stuff. Like blow your nose no Kleenex and shit. Take a dump in the woods....
Canon: Damn! Phil you get down like that son?
Phil: Hey man, you gotta do what you gotta do! I done took a shit in the woods and wipe my ass with leaves.
**all laugh**
Me: Trife. Now how many time you done done that Phil?
Phil: Hey, ain't no shame in having to take a shit. I remember one time I was driving to this party. I had gas like a ma fucka and I kept farting. So I'm driving, bomp..booonp....booomp...bom....
uh oh.
Some got out yo!
**all laughing**
Phil: So I said "oh shit! What I'm gonna do?" Man, I was driving like this! (showed how he was leaning with one ass cheek off of the seat) So I pulled over to the highway, got out, walked over (gingerly)to the woods, pulled my shit down and off, wiped my ass with the draws, threw them into the woods, got back in the car and went to the party.
**all ROLLING now**
Me: Yo! I'm blown! You STILL went to the party?
Canon: Hey Phil! For real, that's how you roll Phil?
Phil: Hey man, I couldn't help it! DOn't even tell me you never did that.
Canon: Hell naw!
Phil: Canon....you ain't never farted and the shit accidently come out?
Canon: I ain't never wiped my ass with the draws I shitted on, naw!
**all laugh**
Me: Yo. You couldn't stop and go to Ross or TJ Maxx to get some draws? Or even go back home?
Phil: Naw man! The party was right down the street and it took me 45 minutes to get there.
Me: And you wasnt going back home?
Phil: Naw!
Me: Well, damn. Was the party any good with your stinkin' ass?
Phil: **laughing** Off the hook son. I took care of it when I got there with some toilet paper and soap.
**I laugh**
Me: Toilet paper and soap, huh? Damn. You a wild boy Phil.
Canon: You nasty mutha fucka! That's just like when you was over my house and took a shit, I didnt have no toilet paper in that back bathroom!
Phil: Oh hell naw! There was toilet paper in there!
Canon: No there wasn't!
Phil: Yes there was! Wasn't no soap, but the toilet paper was there.
Canon: nasty bastard. That's why I don't give you no dap, nigga!
**all laugh**
Me: Damn Phil. And since you work outside, you do that shit at work too, don't you?
Phil: Naw, man. Well....yeah. I had something like that that had happened one time......
To be continued........
1.) People coming in there always selling some half-ass shit.
2.) Homeless people coming in not begging, but getting as much free shit as they can or use the bathroom before they get run out.
3.) Baby mama drama
4.) waiting an hour for your barber to show up.
Yesterday, a homeless man came in and took a rack of condoms from the community basket. He would have taken more if everyone in the shop wasn't gawking at him. When I saw him outside, he was sitting on the steps of another spot with his legs crossed smoking a cigarette as if he were sitting there waiting on his bitches.
LOL! Oh man that was too funny. Here he is, no house, no job, no gear, and he claimin' more than me!
So I'm sitting in there with Canon the Barber and Phil. I've known Canon for years, cool, slick unreliable yet very reliable brother. I better break that down. Canon is the type who if you say "let's go to the Orioles game. I got the tickets. Call me when you get off work"
"aight"
**crickets chirping**
But if I say something like "Yo, I'm at Penn Station with no ride. I know its snowing and shit, but can you and the Blazer come pick me up?"
"aight"
He may take a while to get there, but he'll be there. Phil I don't know. All I know is that he does contractual jobs for builders. So the 3 of us and a couple others are back in Canon's area. Canon was cutting a head, and I was talking to my son. Canon suddenly lifted his head up:
Canon: Hey nigga, what you gonna do with that?
Phil: what?
Canon: that booga you just flicked outta your nose, niggga. I know you just aint put that on my floor!
Phil: **laughing** Aw man! Go head with that! I ain't dig in my nose!
Canon: Yes you did. you dug, flicked it, then wiped the shit on your pants.
**all laugh**'s
Me: Man, that how they do, Canon. Them kats that work on construction sites and shit...they nasty!
Canon: yeah man!
Phil: Aw there YOU go! Looking like that nigga on the Black Eyed Peas
**all laugh**
Me: aight, aight. But I know that you kats do all kinds of nasty stuff. Like blow your nose no Kleenex and shit. Take a dump in the woods....
Canon: Damn! Phil you get down like that son?
Phil: Hey man, you gotta do what you gotta do! I done took a shit in the woods and wipe my ass with leaves.
**all laugh**
Me: Trife. Now how many time you done done that Phil?
Phil: Hey, ain't no shame in having to take a shit. I remember one time I was driving to this party. I had gas like a ma fucka and I kept farting. So I'm driving, bomp..booonp....booomp...bom....
uh oh.
Some got out yo!
**all laughing**
Phil: So I said "oh shit! What I'm gonna do?" Man, I was driving like this! (showed how he was leaning with one ass cheek off of the seat) So I pulled over to the highway, got out, walked over (gingerly)to the woods, pulled my shit down and off, wiped my ass with the draws, threw them into the woods, got back in the car and went to the party.
**all ROLLING now**
Me: Yo! I'm blown! You STILL went to the party?
Canon: Hey Phil! For real, that's how you roll Phil?
Phil: Hey man, I couldn't help it! DOn't even tell me you never did that.
Canon: Hell naw!
Phil: Canon....you ain't never farted and the shit accidently come out?
Canon: I ain't never wiped my ass with the draws I shitted on, naw!
**all laugh**
Me: Yo. You couldn't stop and go to Ross or TJ Maxx to get some draws? Or even go back home?
Phil: Naw man! The party was right down the street and it took me 45 minutes to get there.
Me: And you wasnt going back home?
Phil: Naw!
Me: Well, damn. Was the party any good with your stinkin' ass?
Phil: **laughing** Off the hook son. I took care of it when I got there with some toilet paper and soap.
**I laugh**
Me: Toilet paper and soap, huh? Damn. You a wild boy Phil.
Canon: You nasty mutha fucka! That's just like when you was over my house and took a shit, I didnt have no toilet paper in that back bathroom!
Phil: Oh hell naw! There was toilet paper in there!
Canon: No there wasn't!
Phil: Yes there was! Wasn't no soap, but the toilet paper was there.
Canon: nasty bastard. That's why I don't give you no dap, nigga!
**all laugh**
Me: Damn Phil. And since you work outside, you do that shit at work too, don't you?
Phil: Naw, man. Well....yeah. I had something like that that had happened one time......
To be continued........
Thursday, February 17, 2005
I'm still here
Yes, I'm still here. I apologize for the delay, but I don't manage my time well enough to blog every day or every other day. I've even lost my life management flow: bounced some checks this week AND turned in a paper late. This weekend I'm regrouping so wish me luck. I'm also looking for a higher paying job in the county. I like what I'm doing, but I really rather have the cash thank you very much. And thanks for the relocation invite Zulu and Twisty, but damn that! Y'all are too far north!
Let's see, what did y'all miss.....At work, we are loosing the battle. The kids are slowly taking over. We have a principal who does not want to dole out any harsh punishment. There are 5 kids who if we expel would make the school a hell of a lot better. Also, he is a RE-ACTIVE principal and not a PRO-ACTIVE one. Excellent example: On Friday there was a student who got into it with the teacher. The student was removed from class, but was returned to class. Huh? He knew that this particular student has A LOT of problems at home. So instead of re-iterating that no one here perpetuates her problems at home, he just deals with the situation with the teacher and the student. Lunchtime comes and she decides to still act retarded by screaming something to another student. (I'm not going to repeat it because some of you would get offended) Ok, our Crisis Intervention person calls her and tells her to sit at a table near her. That was fine, until the 2 went back and forth and the student made the mistake of calling the staff member a bitch. Now, some of you may not know this, but if you ever call a sista a bitch in provocation, that's an automatic fight; man , woman, or child. This chic was no different. She was sitting next to me with her fine 120 lbs-shapely-self. But all that womanliness went out the window when she jumped up and said "No...NO! You will NOT disrespect ME like that! You hear me? You hear me?? "
student: Get out my face!
HourGlass: I told you you aint gonna be talkin' to ME like that! Cause ain't the one! AND I'm in your face! So what you gonna do, huh? What you gonna do?
Ah Ha!! I was right! There WAS an office romance going on with OhHellNaw and another teacher. I was just wrong about which teacher. We will call him Rueben because he thats what the kids call him. Yeah, apparently the 2 of them had been hooking up for about a month or so and suddenly it got squashed. Why, I don't know but Rueben has been very stand-offish so I guess he didn't initiate it. The kids even picked up on it asking "Is Rueben going to Chicago with you this weekend?" And all this time I thought it was she and HubbaBubba. Don't worry about a new nickname for him because Friday was his last day. His parents' house burnt down Wed. and he decided to go back and help them out. Now, what the hell HE is going to do I have no idea. Yo! The house is gone! Burneded! What you gonna do, get a hammer and nails and get old school? Man, you just copped out on us. Bitter about that.
Anyway, he was thanked for his services by the kids by getting a bun thrown at him after the malay in the cafeteria, a popcorn fight in the class even though it was his idea to do something nice for the kids on his last day, and 2 kids getting put out of class. **sigh**
**stole: punched
Let's see, what did y'all miss.....At work, we are loosing the battle. The kids are slowly taking over. We have a principal who does not want to dole out any harsh punishment. There are 5 kids who if we expel would make the school a hell of a lot better. Also, he is a RE-ACTIVE principal and not a PRO-ACTIVE one. Excellent example: On Friday there was a student who got into it with the teacher. The student was removed from class, but was returned to class. Huh? He knew that this particular student has A LOT of problems at home. So instead of re-iterating that no one here perpetuates her problems at home, he just deals with the situation with the teacher and the student. Lunchtime comes and she decides to still act retarded by screaming something to another student. (I'm not going to repeat it because some of you would get offended) Ok, our Crisis Intervention person calls her and tells her to sit at a table near her. That was fine, until the 2 went back and forth and the student made the mistake of calling the staff member a bitch. Now, some of you may not know this, but if you ever call a sista a bitch in provocation, that's an automatic fight; man , woman, or child. This chic was no different. She was sitting next to me with her fine 120 lbs-shapely-self. But all that womanliness went out the window when she jumped up and said "No...NO! You will NOT disrespect ME like that! You hear me? You hear me?? "
student: Get out my face!
HourGlass: I told you you aint gonna be talkin' to ME like that! Cause ain't the one! AND I'm in your face! So what you gonna do, huh? What you gonna do?
MOOOOOP!!!
damn she stole** HourGlass in the the lip. Yes, the principal and I broke up a fight between a student and a staff member. Unfuckingbelievable.
Also in that week, 3 students got 5 days suspension and 1 got expelled. He was so irate that we called the police on him because he threated the bus driver and a staff member. Boston Public ain't got shit on The Valley.
Ah Ha!! I was right! There WAS an office romance going on with OhHellNaw and another teacher. I was just wrong about which teacher. We will call him Rueben because he thats what the kids call him. Yeah, apparently the 2 of them had been hooking up for about a month or so and suddenly it got squashed. Why, I don't know but Rueben has been very stand-offish so I guess he didn't initiate it. The kids even picked up on it asking "Is Rueben going to Chicago with you this weekend?" And all this time I thought it was she and HubbaBubba. Don't worry about a new nickname for him because Friday was his last day. His parents' house burnt down Wed. and he decided to go back and help them out. Now, what the hell HE is going to do I have no idea. Yo! The house is gone! Burneded! What you gonna do, get a hammer and nails and get old school? Man, you just copped out on us. Bitter about that.
Anyway, he was thanked for his services by the kids by getting a bun thrown at him after the malay in the cafeteria, a popcorn fight in the class even though it was his idea to do something nice for the kids on his last day, and 2 kids getting put out of class. **sigh**
**stole: punched
Friday, February 11, 2005
dey fightn', dey fightn' !!
Yup. It was inevitable. 1st fight of the year. The one with the most mouth got his ass kicked. The funny part (if there is one) is that I ran to break it up and one of the teachers was in the midst of it and he had a hold of one of kids' waist instead of his arms. I pulled the teacher off and grabbed the kid. After the dust settled and I was walking down the hallway, one of the kids said "man, why you truck me## ? Slammed me all up against the wall. Man, I'm suing!" I apologized to him profusely.
I went to orientation yesterday. Man, that shit is depressing! Not only does the pay suck, but come to find out that I only get ONE personal day and 4.5 sick days for the year. Oh wait, it gets better. Not only that, but I can't use the personal DAY until I'm off probabtion. How long is probation? Not one month, not 3, not even 6.....
A fucken year.
Oh well. We'll make sure this is temporary. So if any of you know of someone in the B-more area looking for a jack-of-all-trades techie, let me know.
Other notes:
This is primarily for Zulu; and Jenn, I think you may have read this too. Watch what you blog!
Darkness will from now on be referred to as Glueman. I totally forgot about his fascination and skill in dealing with adhesives. Anything that breaks and can't be nailed or screwed together, call the Glueman. 2 stories about that:
I had been spending all of my unemployment checks routinely on earpieces for my cell phone. When I finally find one that works and is comfortable, my clumsy ass steps on it and breaks it. "Hmm. How can I fix this?" No clue. "Who can fix this for me?" **LIGHT BULB!!** The cousin.
Glueman: Wassup yo?
Me: Hey man, can you fix my earpiece for me?
Gluema: Fix it? What's wrong with it?
Me: The part that goes in your ear broke. And since you the Glueman, I figured you'd fix it.
Glueman: **laughing** Oh, Glueman, huh?
Me: Yeah man. Everytime something need pastin', you always got the right kind of pastes and thangs. You nice## with yours!
**both laughing**
Glueman: Alright, bring it thru. I see what I can do.
Worked like a charm until it finally died. The Glueman is nice!
Second story:
My son and I were spending the weekend over Glueman's house. He seemed restless. When the sun went down, he goes "Ride with me".
We get into the car and I ask where we were going. "I need to fix my son's car headlight. I gotta go to the store to get some of my elixirs."
Me: elixirs? What do you mean? A little some-some to drink?
Glueman: No man. My glues! My apoxies!
Me: OH!! **laughing** Elixirs, huh? Very good.
So we get to the auto store and walked around the various aisles...light bulbs, car freshener, windshield wipers...ah! "Here it is. All the gl..."
"Shhhhhh!! I'm concentrating on my formulas." he said while rubbing his chin.
"Hmm...." He started. "If I get this one here, I'll have to combine it with this other apoxy that got extra binding agents. **me snickering** With this other one, I'll have to reinforce it with some tape. What you think?"
"Well, if you...."
"Nevermind. I got this."
So we proceeded to the checkout, and sure enough, 12 hours later, the headlight was good as new. (Uh...except for the small strip of tape in the corner.)
Like I said, Glueman is NICE!
###truck: to run over, rudely push out of the way.
###nice: smoother than smooth, adept in the context of the sentence.
I went to orientation yesterday. Man, that shit is depressing! Not only does the pay suck, but come to find out that I only get ONE personal day and 4.5 sick days for the year. Oh wait, it gets better. Not only that, but I can't use the personal DAY until I'm off probabtion. How long is probation? Not one month, not 3, not even 6.....
A fucken year.
Oh well. We'll make sure this is temporary. So if any of you know of someone in the B-more area looking for a jack-of-all-trades techie, let me know.
Other notes:
This is primarily for Zulu; and Jenn, I think you may have read this too. Watch what you blog!
Darkness will from now on be referred to as Glueman. I totally forgot about his fascination and skill in dealing with adhesives. Anything that breaks and can't be nailed or screwed together, call the Glueman. 2 stories about that:
I had been spending all of my unemployment checks routinely on earpieces for my cell phone. When I finally find one that works and is comfortable, my clumsy ass steps on it and breaks it. "Hmm. How can I fix this?" No clue. "Who can fix this for me?" **LIGHT BULB!!** The cousin.
Glueman: Wassup yo?
Me: Hey man, can you fix my earpiece for me?
Gluema: Fix it? What's wrong with it?
Me: The part that goes in your ear broke. And since you the Glueman, I figured you'd fix it.
Glueman: **laughing** Oh, Glueman, huh?
Me: Yeah man. Everytime something need pastin', you always got the right kind of pastes and thangs. You nice## with yours!
**both laughing**
Glueman: Alright, bring it thru. I see what I can do.
Worked like a charm until it finally died. The Glueman is nice!
Second story:
My son and I were spending the weekend over Glueman's house. He seemed restless. When the sun went down, he goes "Ride with me".
We get into the car and I ask where we were going. "I need to fix my son's car headlight. I gotta go to the store to get some of my elixirs."
Me: elixirs? What do you mean? A little some-some to drink?
Glueman: No man. My glues! My apoxies!
Me: OH!! **laughing** Elixirs, huh? Very good.
So we get to the auto store and walked around the various aisles...light bulbs, car freshener, windshield wipers...ah! "Here it is. All the gl..."
"Shhhhhh!! I'm concentrating on my formulas." he said while rubbing his chin.
"Hmm...." He started. "If I get this one here, I'll have to combine it with this other apoxy that got extra binding agents. **me snickering** With this other one, I'll have to reinforce it with some tape. What you think?"
"Well, if you...."
"Nevermind. I got this."
So we proceeded to the checkout, and sure enough, 12 hours later, the headlight was good as new. (Uh...except for the small strip of tape in the corner.)
Like I said, Glueman is NICE!
###truck: to run over, rudely push out of the way.
###nice: smoother than smooth, adept in the context of the sentence.
Monday, February 07, 2005
Street Cred
To those who don't know, street cred is street credibility. How much street do you know? Are you street or are you faking? HubbaBubba is getting street cred already. A white man, in a prodominantly black county is going to get street cred by default. First of all, he lives close to work. Ok, what dat mean? Well, we all work in a shady neighborhood. Therefore, he lives in a shady neighborhood. He lives on The Hill; this high-rise on the top of a hill overlooking Branch Ave. He is probably the only sane white person that lives in that building. Instant establishment of street cred. (appalause please). And having the kids in his classroom, he gets to learn all kinds of new slang.
goosing: to mutually stare down a person
swelling: pressed, seemingly desperate
Keep up the good work HubbaBubba! When you get that full street cred, your name will be changed accordingly.
Update: The boys and girls were seperated into gender sections today because of an almost fight Friday. Realize that these kids are about 2 to 3 grades behind in maturity level AND have behavioral issues. Sometimes you have to go backwards to go forward.
goosing: to mutually stare down a person
swelling: pressed, seemingly desperate
Keep up the good work HubbaBubba! When you get that full street cred, your name will be changed accordingly.
Update: The boys and girls were seperated into gender sections today because of an almost fight Friday. Realize that these kids are about 2 to 3 grades behind in maturity level AND have behavioral issues. Sometimes you have to go backwards to go forward.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
"Man, the things you think about sometimes..."
My cousin Darkness and I have some great phone convos. It is typical of us to call each other about the dumbest things. The following is a classic example of of one of those convos.
Me: What's up, Son ? What you claimin' ?
Darkness: Nothing, Son. Chillin'. What's on your mind?
Me: I got a bone to pick with you, brudda.
Darkness: Heheheh..oh yeah? Waassup?
Me: Remember back in the day....uh...you remember Teddy Pendergrass, right?
Darkness: (anticipatory laugh) Yeah?
Me: You remember that song "Turn off the Lights" don't you?
Darkness: (singing) Turn off the lights
And light a candle...
Sure. I remember that song.
Me: Ok. Now, you thought he was pretty cool, right?
Darkness: hehhehhe...I mean....He wasn't no Scoop and Scrap Lover, but yeah, he was aight.
(both laugh)
Me: Well, how come....WAAAY back when when we were over my grandmother's freestylin' (Darkness begins to laugh) y'all laughed when I said that line "rub you down....with soaps and oils" but in that same song by Teddy he says "And let you rub me down with some hot soaps and oils! yeah! YES!"
(both laugh)
Darkneaa: (still laughing) man, you a fool! You was like 14 years old! You ain't know nothing about no hot soaps and oils. He a grown man!
Me: (still laughing) Oh! Good point!
Darkness: I was going to call and ask you something too the other day.
Me: Oh ok.
Darkness: I was sitting at the Bob Evans eating some lunch when out of the blue, this tune comes in my head:
don don DUNT
DUNT dunt da don DUNT
don don don DUNT
da DUNT dunt dunt dunt dunt da don
Me: The theme song to Benson????
Darkness: Yeah. I was was like "damn. I can't remember Benson's last name...what the hell was it??"
Me: Hmmm! I don't remember either now that I think of it.
Darkness: I figured you wouldn't remember. So I called JoJo (his sister) and asked her. She said his name was DuBois.
Me: Oh yeah that's right! Benson DuBois....
Darkness: Mmmm hmmm. Then it dawned on me to ask you how a brother get a french last name?
Me: Oh. He's probably of Haitian decent. They speak Frenchus (yes, I actually said Frenches (french-us)).
Darkness: Oh yea, that's right!
Me: yeah
Darkness: Aight chief. I holla at you.
Me: Aight den. Peace yo'self
Darkness: Peace
(click)
We have some that are a lot better than that and I will ask him if he remembers anymore of them. If so, I'll put another one up.
peace
Me: He could also be of Cameron decent. They speak French as well.
Me: What's up, Son ? What you claimin' ?
Darkness: Nothing, Son. Chillin'. What's on your mind?
Me: I got a bone to pick with you, brudda.
Darkness: Heheheh..oh yeah? Waassup?
Me: Remember back in the day....uh...you remember Teddy Pendergrass, right?
Darkness: (anticipatory laugh) Yeah?
Me: You remember that song "Turn off the Lights" don't you?
Darkness: (singing) Turn off the lights
And light a candle...
Sure. I remember that song.
Me: Ok. Now, you thought he was pretty cool, right?
Darkness: hehhehhe...I mean....He wasn't no Scoop and Scrap Lover, but yeah, he was aight.
(both laugh)
Me: Well, how come....WAAAY back when when we were over my grandmother's freestylin' (Darkness begins to laugh) y'all laughed when I said that line "rub you down....with soaps and oils" but in that same song by Teddy he says "And let you rub me down with some hot soaps and oils! yeah! YES!"
(both laugh)
Darkneaa: (still laughing) man, you a fool! You was like 14 years old! You ain't know nothing about no hot soaps and oils. He a grown man!
Me: (still laughing) Oh! Good point!
Darkness: I was going to call and ask you something too the other day.
Me: Oh ok.
Darkness: I was sitting at the Bob Evans eating some lunch when out of the blue, this tune comes in my head:
don don DUNT
DUNT dunt da don DUNT
don don don DUNT
da DUNT dunt dunt dunt dunt da don
Me: The theme song to Benson????
Darkness: Yeah. I was was like "damn. I can't remember Benson's last name...what the hell was it??"
Me: Hmmm! I don't remember either now that I think of it.
Darkness: I figured you wouldn't remember. So I called JoJo (his sister) and asked her. She said his name was DuBois.
Me: Oh yeah that's right! Benson DuBois....
Darkness: Mmmm hmmm. Then it dawned on me to ask you how a brother get a french last name?
Me: Oh. He's probably of Haitian decent. They speak Frenchus (yes, I actually said Frenches (french-us)).
Darkness: Oh yea, that's right!
Me: yeah
Darkness: Aight chief. I holla at you.
Me: Aight den. Peace yo'self
Darkness: Peace
(click)
We have some that are a lot better than that and I will ask him if he remembers anymore of them. If so, I'll put another one up.
peace
Me: He could also be of Cameron decent. They speak French as well.
Friday, February 04, 2005
"I was prepared!"
In a previous blog entry (A Little Known Fact), I wrote about having a big tee shirt on. There is a story that goes along with that. Like to hear it, here it go...
Me and Darkness were walking thru B-more's flea market. For you West Coasters thats the equivalent of a swap shop. I forgot what we were looking for, but I know that we always go to the flea market when there is something that we want to buy but don't feel like paying the real money for. And just like on The Block in B-more, there are barkers. An example is one we heard for someone selling dog food. Keep in mind that in B-more accent, "dog" is pronounced "duug"; like "Doug" with a hard u.
"Dog food and cat food! Dog food and cat food! I got the dog food, you need the cat food!
Dog food and cat food! Dog food and cat food! I got the cat food, you need the dog food!"
But the one that is engrained in the brain is the one about being prepared. I wish I would have known this lesson from years back. **rolling eyes**
There was a man-woman team selling big tee shirts. Now, all last summer and most of the year, these huge, arm-covering, long-enough-to-be-a-skirt tee shirts were the thing. If you wore any color besides white or black, you were considered soft. So, these 2 are selling big tee shirts. Good price too.
Man: Big tee shurts! Big tee shurts! 1 fo 10, 2 fo 15! Big tee shurts! Big tee shurts!
Woman: Get them big tee shirts right here! Wear 'em anytime! Last night I wore my big tee shirt, this mo'ning when I woke up, I was prepared!"
Huh?????! Wtf.....How the fu....? What the hell does a big tee shirt have to do with being prepared??? I was blown!
So, ever since then, whenever I'm ready for something, I always say "I got my big tee shirt on. I'm prepared!" And no, I do not and never intend to own or wear a big tee shirt.
Me and Darkness were walking thru B-more's flea market. For you West Coasters thats the equivalent of a swap shop. I forgot what we were looking for, but I know that we always go to the flea market when there is something that we want to buy but don't feel like paying the real money for. And just like on The Block in B-more, there are barkers. An example is one we heard for someone selling dog food. Keep in mind that in B-more accent, "dog" is pronounced "duug"; like "Doug" with a hard u.
"Dog food and cat food! Dog food and cat food! I got the dog food, you need the cat food!
Dog food and cat food! Dog food and cat food! I got the cat food, you need the dog food!"
But the one that is engrained in the brain is the one about being prepared. I wish I would have known this lesson from years back. **rolling eyes**
There was a man-woman team selling big tee shirts. Now, all last summer and most of the year, these huge, arm-covering, long-enough-to-be-a-skirt tee shirts were the thing. If you wore any color besides white or black, you were considered soft. So, these 2 are selling big tee shirts. Good price too.
Man: Big tee shurts! Big tee shurts! 1 fo 10, 2 fo 15! Big tee shurts! Big tee shurts!
Woman: Get them big tee shirts right here! Wear 'em anytime! Last night I wore my big tee shirt, this mo'ning when I woke up, I was prepared!"
Huh?????! Wtf.....How the fu....? What the hell does a big tee shirt have to do with being prepared??? I was blown!
So, ever since then, whenever I'm ready for something, I always say "I got my big tee shirt on. I'm prepared!" And no, I do not and never intend to own or wear a big tee shirt.
Clusterf&$k
I have NO idea how people go thru so much crap to work for a municipality. I work for PG County Schools and I have changed positions. Now, already on file they have my SS #, college transcript, and 3 letters of reccomendation. Why come I have to bring in a copy of my SS card, 3 more letters of recommendation, copy of my drivers license, AND a copy of my gad-damn high school transcript??!? Yes, they have my COLLEGE transcript which 9.9999 times out of 10 proceeds and has the pre-requisite of attending and graduating high school. WTF??? It took me all day to gather that and STILL the bitch wouldn't accept it. Why? Because according to her, I missed the deadline for accepting criteria by 2 hours. I took off a day of work to get all that shit and she still wouldn't take it because of 2 hours delay. Mother bitcher....
2 days ago I got a call from an old friend from high school and beyond. We will call her StopDontDoThat because that's what she told me pretty much everytime I saw her. I told her there is only one of 3 reasons why she was calling me:
1.) She found the Lord and wanted to help me find him.
2.) She selling one of them gad-damn pyramids shits.
3.) She wants some dizzat from way back.
Her reply was "well, you got me because Bible study is every Wednesday and you are welcome to join, and my daughter IS selling Girl Scout cookies so what do you want to order?
Smart-ass. Note there was no reference to the dizzat. Cute.
My ass is hot sitting in this chair. Not because I got a hot ass, but because the middle of it is broken so the only support is on the outside. If I don't sit a certain way, my cheeks get spread therefore making the crack hot. Amazing....why anyone would let something get stuck up their ass is beyond me.
As for my new job....a lot more quieter than the other knucklehead school. I can't see anything interesting happening, but just in case here is the cast of characters:
DMoney- Reading teacher...free-spirit, my personal favortite.
Suge- if you saw this kat on the street and found out he was teaching your children, you would either pull them out of school or applaude. BIG dude, always has a look on his face of "mutha fucka don't you know I kill you???" Perfect for this school. Probably better suited for the high school.
TheseChildren: Every sentence starts off with "These children....". That's all I know about her. Today is her second day here.
Chris-Styles (pronounced 'criss-STALS!') I have never...ever, EVER seen a white man read Jet magazine. Had the magazine flipped all side-ways and shit..."Beauty of the Week, huh?"
"hehehhe....yeah...."
HubbaBubba- The most square peg of the bunch. Likes camping, canoeing, crew, bungying jumping and shit.....the only way that teaching here and any of that other stuff matches is because its adventurous. Buddy-buddy with AwwHellnaw! (to be introduced below) My guess as to be the first to say fuck it and roll out.
WasntMe- The enigma of the bunch. Doesn't mesh well with the others. Probably due to age and experience differences. Very difficult to talk to. You can mention slave-labor in reference to the job, but he will call you on that as to not being an accurate description. Cynical of the system, but not himself. SHould be some good bloggin'
WhatDidHeSay?- Between his accent and soft-spoken tone, he always has to repeat himself. Will end up being the kids doormat, but he from the rough-side of the Earth (Africa) so he can handle it.
AwwHellNaw!- I don't know her that well but our first convo went like this:
Me: Damn. Should I leave that computer here or put it somewhere else?
AwwHellNaw!: You can put it over there...no...leave it right there on the desk because if one of those kids touches that computer, I'm going to be like "what? uh uh! Aww hell no! Sit your butt down touching my stuff!"
more teachers to come as they are trying to fill English and Math assignments.
2 days ago I got a call from an old friend from high school and beyond. We will call her StopDontDoThat because that's what she told me pretty much everytime I saw her. I told her there is only one of 3 reasons why she was calling me:
1.) She found the Lord and wanted to help me find him.
2.) She selling one of them gad-damn pyramids shits.
3.) She wants some dizzat from way back.
Her reply was "well, you got me because Bible study is every Wednesday and you are welcome to join, and my daughter IS selling Girl Scout cookies so what do you want to order?
Smart-ass. Note there was no reference to the dizzat. Cute.
My ass is hot sitting in this chair. Not because I got a hot ass, but because the middle of it is broken so the only support is on the outside. If I don't sit a certain way, my cheeks get spread therefore making the crack hot. Amazing....why anyone would let something get stuck up their ass is beyond me.
As for my new job....a lot more quieter than the other knucklehead school. I can't see anything interesting happening, but just in case here is the cast of characters:
DMoney- Reading teacher...free-spirit, my personal favortite.
Suge- if you saw this kat on the street and found out he was teaching your children, you would either pull them out of school or applaude. BIG dude, always has a look on his face of "mutha fucka don't you know I kill you???" Perfect for this school. Probably better suited for the high school.
TheseChildren: Every sentence starts off with "These children....". That's all I know about her. Today is her second day here.
Chris-Styles (pronounced 'criss-STALS!') I have never...ever, EVER seen a white man read Jet magazine. Had the magazine flipped all side-ways and shit..."Beauty of the Week, huh?"
"hehehhe....yeah...."
HubbaBubba- The most square peg of the bunch. Likes camping, canoeing, crew, bungying jumping and shit.....the only way that teaching here and any of that other stuff matches is because its adventurous. Buddy-buddy with AwwHellnaw! (to be introduced below) My guess as to be the first to say fuck it and roll out.
WasntMe- The enigma of the bunch. Doesn't mesh well with the others. Probably due to age and experience differences. Very difficult to talk to. You can mention slave-labor in reference to the job, but he will call you on that as to not being an accurate description. Cynical of the system, but not himself. SHould be some good bloggin'
WhatDidHeSay?- Between his accent and soft-spoken tone, he always has to repeat himself. Will end up being the kids doormat, but he from the rough-side of the Earth (Africa) so he can handle it.
AwwHellNaw!- I don't know her that well but our first convo went like this:
Me: Damn. Should I leave that computer here or put it somewhere else?
AwwHellNaw!: You can put it over there...no...leave it right there on the desk because if one of those kids touches that computer, I'm going to be like "what? uh uh! Aww hell no! Sit your butt down touching my stuff!"
more teachers to come as they are trying to fill English and Math assignments.
Monday, January 31, 2005
Abandoned Blogs
I am very happy that I am starting to get some traffic to this site. I'm swelled with pride that people are starting to come to this site just to read me "talking shit". However, I am mad salty at the following bloggers: Blondie, LL, and CaramelCutie. You ladies are making ME look bad because I have you linked on my damn page! Since none of you even come to this site, I can really talk shit about you. Blondie, I TOLD YO ass you wouldn't be a good blogger. Your focus is on so many other things. I was surprised that you didn't get take some of those erotic stories and put it in your blog entry. Real easy.
CaramelCutie....you started off SOOOO strong too! Good stuff. Now you don't blog, read blogs or even write in your journal because its "too much work". If you weren't so busy being a damn pimptress, you MIGHT get something done damnit!
Finally, LL. Girl you is trife. Here go the email she sent me (paraphrased) "That is so cool that you do that! I think I'm going to start one too!" One month and one entry later, not a damn thing new. As a matter of fact, where the hell are you anyway?
So I'm deleting your links. Nothing personal, but why cue people to pages or that are sitting in the Internet graveyard. You 3 are wonderful women, but you're shitty bloggers. Blondie, stick to the stories. CaramelCutie, go to your state office and register your business. Not sure if pimpin' menz is legal in South Carolina, but don't let the tax man take your money. LL, don't even bother. Just send me a message via carrier pigeon or something.
Alright, I'm done.
Peace
CaramelCutie....you started off SOOOO strong too! Good stuff. Now you don't blog, read blogs or even write in your journal because its "too much work". If you weren't so busy being a damn pimptress, you MIGHT get something done damnit!
Finally, LL. Girl you is trife. Here go the email she sent me (paraphrased) "That is so cool that you do that! I think I'm going to start one too!" One month and one entry later, not a damn thing new. As a matter of fact, where the hell are you anyway?
So I'm deleting your links. Nothing personal, but why cue people to pages or that are sitting in the Internet graveyard. You 3 are wonderful women, but you're shitty bloggers. Blondie, stick to the stories. CaramelCutie, go to your state office and register your business. Not sure if pimpin' menz is legal in South Carolina, but don't let the tax man take your money. LL, don't even bother. Just send me a message via carrier pigeon or something.
Alright, I'm done.
Peace
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